Insights and Perceptions

What we think and do, are these all being governed by our upbringing?

Or are these simply by-products of our very own natural mindset? 

I don’t understand how people can choose to be rude. Yes I know one can be rude. But how do you make that into a decision from your choices – rude, well-mannered, neutral, warm, cold etc? Is this a reflection of one’s environment, or merely a defensive mechanism?

I know how to be rude. But it’s a conscious choice I decided to make each time, not to be rude, when I encounter frustrating moments. And it’s not my default mode to be rude. Surprisingly for many, it seems that it’s a default to them. Maybe I am being picky. Thinking too deeply. Rudeness in the eyes of many, actually equates to norm way of life. Oh well, thousands of years of civilisation of us humankind…equates to rubbish?

I wonder, have I been living in a sheltered environment or have I subconsciously exclude rudeness out of my life?

And perhaps, each time I make a certain decision, I am governed by the Holy Spirit, to act in accordance to what the Bible says? I am not all saint. I do have my struggles. I recognise this and I seek help. From who? Definitely not from mankind but from God.

I remembered those years when I served fervently as a Sunday School teacher in church. And those years when I leaned upon God’s word and the Holy Spirit for understanding and directions. I am very thankful for all the moments of opportunities God has given me, past and present. For each time, He has sent His word for me to rely upon. And of course, the gift that He has given me.

I try not to use the gift. Because in the past I was saddened upon its use. However His gift allows me to receive Holy insights and with that, moves me towards God’s path for me, instead of man’s path. I can’t just put away this gift and not utilise it for godly purposes. Perhaps for many years I did not want to use it. Because there are other important things bothering my heart. Perhaps for many years I already had this insight, but I chose to put it away and told myself that it’s just NOT THAT.

What about now? I still have other important things to handle. Can I deal with them?

Of course I can. For that’s the time when God gets me to refer to His Holy Word. With the Bible, I see and know the truth. Truth bears no weight when man pursues not of God. As I pursue things of God, the Truth weighs me down. Extremely much. Thus my heart is heavy. My heart is weary. But His Holy Word restores my heaviness and weariness of heart.

It’s so easy to be tempted. As long as I do not pray and do not seek God’s words and directions, I know the extent to which I can just embark on. It’s scary when temptations set in. And they exist in all kinds – human form and not non-human form. And because I recognise that temptations do creep in, I have to be on the alert and be mindful to refer to God’s directions at all times.

I don’t understand why people will exploit others. But I think it’s just being mutual. One has to consent to being exploited, no? Just that the one who consented to being exploited may also in turn have a hidden agenda. And when the hidden agenda is not being achieved or things go awry, we expose the exploiter…

I seek the truth, and don’t fancy half-truths and lies. I am thankful of people who speak truths to me. How do I ascertain truths? When it’s beyond superficiality. When it’s not just a matter of convenience. When my presence is not of contributive effect to the matter concerned.

I may not like the truths. But I respect the person who tells me the truth. 

What most people may think: You won’t like the person if you know the truth.

O_o              O_o             O_o

This only means most people care more about being liked…

Indeed a moment of confirmation for me.

I know how hard it is to feel not being liked. Recalled my earlier days when a fellow churchmate viewed me as her rivalry. And she did all sorts of things to show me she didn’t like me. It hurt me badly – only because I viewed her as my sis-in-christ. So I referred to my trusted aide – God’s Holy Word! And with that, I know, that while I feel sad that she didn’t like me, I recognise that I do not need her acknowledgement of like for me, because she’s not God. And with this incident, it sort of confirmed and made me into who I am today.

I don’t seek approval from anyone but God.

There are temptations. To do things that bring me away from God. And so what I do is: Pray and Pray and Pray.

Quiet moments. I need. Be it for prayers against temptations or prayers for healing. Or just being still before God.


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