Problem with the brain

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And yes indeed, some people just have problems with their brain. Regardless of how facts have been presented, they still insist on their viewpoint. Let me say this again, if you trust God, the God whom you have chosen to pray to, then you better make sure you trust Him and not just paying lip service to Him. And this also includes all your actions, seen or yet to be seen. I feel so perplexed that people just keep deceiving themselves. What’s so wrong with being forthcoming in your behaviour? Why must people hide behind a screen?

I don’t feel hurt. I don’t feel upset. But I am angry. The numerous times that I came with my pure heart. With no other intention. And yet people doubted. All I can say is, one believes it to be so as according to one’s deepest thoughts. To me, I always think that people tell the truth. Because I say the truth. I always think that people love with a pure heart. Because I love with a pure heart. I always think that people do things simply for passion. Because I do things with passion. But then, it’s not so. I shudder to think that mankind is too complicated. And despite whatever blah blah blah reasons, they are just hiding. Why not be frank about it? Is it so complicated? Don’t we read the Bible and practise God’s words? Don’t we hear the pastor telling us time after time? Don’t we know that if we knowingly go against God’s words we have to answer for the consequences?

I feel so…disgusted. Don’t we read the same Bible???

I have already prayed to God. That was the last straw. I hand it all over to God from this point. I won’t do anything. Not anymore. I will just let it be. Disappear. Just as usual. Is it so hard for me to do so? Nope. It’s super easy. Coz I treasure my sanity more than spending time on xyz.

On a side note, it’s amazing how we link up with people and connect with them. Via social media and such. I am glad to be able to help some people along the way. I know, it’s important that I don’t become a pharisee. Remembered my earlier days as a Sunday School teacher. Really love teaching the kids about God’s words. Really miss those days! Now, I have to think and pray. What’s God’s calling for me this time?

I thank God for allowing me to walk closely all these 31 years of faith. There were several years in between when I was lost. But God allows me to be back each time. The most major gap was almost a decade. But then, the decade has made me grown so much!

Perhaps something has happened. And I didn’t know. Perhaps it’s just the look of my happy face that irked some. Perhaps I shouldn’t be happy. I should be in pain? Hmm…agony?…But that’s not me. How do I fake it???

The events all came from God. Perhaps God wants us to see the truth. What am I saying? Of course God wants us to see the truth. The truth…

Anyway, it’s good riddance. And I shall have a good me-time. Why should I bother whether I have to remember this or that? I can forget. Especially when I don’t see you. To me, out of sight out of mind. It’s a relief for me that I don’t have to give up my me-time too.

To misinterpret my needs. What a joke! I don’t like to meet up. Regardless of my friends or acquaintances. I just like to be where my heart is. Thank God for my dwelling place. But at the same time, my heart is somewhere else.

Amazing time spent to think of matters. Different matters in 2 different weeks. I must have been real busy and occupied. Of course, there are hurdles here and there. And I think, it’s the same 3 years 8 months once again…

Wait, God is here. Right?

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