Freedom is such a scarce commodity. Do you know that?
I value and treasure freedom. I dislike having to go according to what the mainstream wants. Maybe I am a rebel. I usually do the opposite. But then, it could be I am the odd person. And thus no one else will follow my train of thoughts. Nevertheless, do I mind? Nope. I am perfectly fine with this. I don’t need the entire village. In fact, I can’t be bothered with this. I have never liked to let myself be tied down. To anything. To anyone. I hate that. Yes, absolutely. And thus, I think, I need to follow my own instinct. The more I try to rationalise, the more excuses I come up with. Excuses, yes indeed they are. Just that I may choose not to recognise them as excuses. I can say they are my reasons. The reasons why I am the way I am. But then, those are actually excuses. Which I may have never discovered it. Or maybe I may have never wanted to reveal it.
Freedom is extremely precious to me. Maybe it’s my recurring dream of the past, where the box just became smaller and smaller, tiny and tinier…Or voila! replace it with a room, becoming smaller and smaller…until I woke up in sweat! See? I need freedom. And thus I cannot imagine…the loss of it.
I have hardly done something just solely to please someone. Not that I don’t love them, but just that, the very thought that if I have to go and please a person, is this person really my close one? I may not know how things work in this world, but I believe in simplicity. And thus, needless to say, I tend to simplify things…Which may seem to be disastrous for some. But I have no wish to delve further in the deeper thoughts and meanings behind it. If I don’t seek to please, I know it means nothing much to me. But when I choose to please, I am decided, I have made a choice. So, I have to produce more actions based on my decision. Actually, it’s easy to make a decision. Just that I am being too greedy…I like the color Blue, but I don’t like this shade of Blue. I think that White goes well with Black, but I cannot imagine having to take care of White. I find Gunmetal Grey strong-looking, but I think it’s boring to some extent. I think Black is stylo-milo, but I can’t handle the birdshit that come as a package….oh well, hard to please right? My decision…My Freedom to make.
And yeah, I have been taking extremely long time. I am unable to commit.
I just don’t have the urge to commit…In whatever ways. So…please don’t force me.
Gotta chill and have some ice soda.