November is passing by extremely fast. And yet at times, I find that it’s simply shocking that we are still in the month of November. Perhaps, too many things have been happening within this month, and thus I feel this way.
Not too sure as to whether I am on the right track. But I do know that with proper planning, at least I wouldn’t deviate too much from the original plan. Remember, fail to plan, plan to fail? I have experienced this before, being muddle-headed and young. Ok, not that young. And thus, now I have been very much disciplined, to remember this. Commit my plans to God.
I am glad to have this sageuk to satisfy my cravings for historical Korea. I want to visit South Korea again, hopefully soon. Not for shopping. Solely for historical trip. Not too sure whether this comes as a surprise, well, I definitely identify more with historical Korea than historical China. I am rational enough not to be into Kpop and sorts. So I know that the interest in historical Korea is not due to external influences.
For most countries I visited, I love to see their palaces, castles and ancient structures. Musée du Louvre used to be a fortress. It’s grand, just like a palace. The long halls. The numerous rooms. The details of the decor. I can only marvel, and admire with awe. Imagination runs wild. What were the lives of the people back then? 故宫紫禁城 and 圆明园 were both grand and scenic. The vast amount of space. The golden plated decor. The carvings of the lions and the dragons. How did the people manage to walk from one end to the other end?
And as what I have in mind, I hope to visit the place. I guess that, it’s better late than never, right?
I was pretty dense in the past. And perhaps, even up till now. And perhaps I only know about such truths of feelings when I watch the Kdrama. That when you like a person, you will yearn to see the person, and perhaps in the time of yearning, you may even create opportunities to see or talk to the person. Hmmm……this is something new to me. And I know, this is not new to many others. Thus, I am just being dense. But I am also asking myself this question, that how could I be such a dense person?
Am I trying to avoid?
Am I unwilling to commit?
Or…do I actually have a fear of commitment?…
I am not exactly a very feminine person. And I cannot feign to be one either. If I am not one, why must I resort to trickery? I only chase for the truth. And I want to be truthful to the person I choose to love and spend my life with. Am I ready to give my heart away?
Yes, there are times of flutter. Here and there, this and such. But to me, that’s about all, and I have no wish to indulge. At least I know, at this point of time. Not many will understand my thoughts, and perhaps one may feel intimidated with my thoughts…
I have long since given up on explanation. I believe strongly that people only see what they want to see. The question is, are you even seeing the truth, the reality? But of course, not many can bear the burden of the truth and the reality. And thus, many choose to just accept the way things are.
Am I one who is like this?
I like to ask myself many questions. And perhaps in doing so, I end up frustrated. But does it mean that in order not to feel frustrated, I don’t ask myself such questions??? I have to face it, face the truth, face the reality, face myself…
Running away doesn’t solve the problem. And some people actually thought that by keeping quiet the person is running away. Not exactly correct. Do I run away?…well…does acting blur count as such?
Really, what matters most to a person may differ with time. I don’t know. Perhaps I am still growing up? Hahaha…