Real vs Fake vs Similiarity

I remembered someone calling me a fake many years ago. I was not upset. I felt only sadness for this person. If we don’t know how to differentiate real versus fake intent, I guess that speaks a lot about how perceptive one is. Do we view things on a superficial level, is what we see really what we get? I can say a 1001 things, can you believe in me? Do you want to believe in me?

Nice idea. Ninja family? No. We believe that royal guards should fit the bill better. Interesting. And this should be in the earliest part. No wonder my siblings and cuzzies look more Korean, while my aunts look more Japanese. Generations of inter-national marriages. And eventually settled in China. Why?????

A period of quiet time. For my heart. I can be passionate about my tasks, but I choose not to be passionate about other stuffs. A matter of choice. Will I regret? No. I make this my choice with a given timeline and I am pretty much happy about it. Most importantly is I am happy with my decision. So far, things may not be smooth sailing for me. But I have not regretted any part that has happened. (Though I most probably would eventually settle in Japan if given more time to reconsider)

What I do know is never to rush through any thing, especially when that involves major decision making. Not to be bothered about what others might say. People’s minds are already decided on what they think. So regardless of what we say, do you think they will actually take that into account? Most likely not. Well, sometimes they might…just to entertain your hopes. All of us know, if we were to oppose, there will be constant nagging and persistent backlash. Why is there any need to go through further trouble? It is easy to 敷衍了事. You happy, I happy 😄😄😄

I must have wanted the months to fly past. Keeps thinking that Monday is Wednesday and Wednesday is Thursday. Do I badly need time to zoom past me??? Yes I know, I have a 1001 things to embark on, mainly my passions and interests. I have been doing some over these years. But somehow, I crave for more. Oh well, I indeed have had time lost in the past. Not only that, I also have memories lost. 😢😨

I think if we actually feel from our heart and be super realistic about it, there isn’t much of a problem in seeing a similarity between real and fake. After all, what matters most is the pure intent. If we seek the pure intent, it is not hard to identify the real.

☺☺☺

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Back to my love

Always loving art.

Doing the things I love.

Bought this sewing machine several years ago. Simply because it’s my dream to have my own sewing machine. Oh haha, not LV? Not Chanel?

Yep, that’s me. Buying LV or Chanel is not a dream. We can buy them anytime we want. But buying a sewing machine that I like is a dream. Because I can do plenty of things with my machine 💖💛💖

Even my mum is amused with me. Oh well, I am not easily understood by people. Perhaps to many others, I exist in the grey area. And do I, really? 😎 There are many unspoken thoughts. I don’t exactly verbalise my thoughts frequently. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think or feel. Perhaps over the years I find it a waste of time to verbalise my thoughts or words of advice, as there are many who have already made up their mind on what they decided upon. Frankly, if one is to think you are a snob, then yes, you are one of the snobs, regardless of how fervently you oppose to these people. No amount of convincing is ever going to change their perception of you. Sad?

And thus, I ask myself, is there really a need to verbalise my thoughts? I shall let my thoughts be transformed into dreams and thereafter into reality. Cool 👯😎

I believe actions speak louder than words. I can whisper sweet nothings. But they are really nothing at all. Yet at the same time, I do not want to utter things that I don’t believe in. It’s hard for me to lie, yet it’s super easy for me to believe in the lie I am telling. Thus if I believe in my own lie, I have no problem in relaying the message.

And for this, maybe I am really deemed as someone who is 捉摸不定. You can’t understand me, because I am just too unbelievable for you. And yes, I know I leave people baffled, if they try to understand me.

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Admiration

How do you view this word ‘Admire’?
Do you view it with longing in your heart?
Or, do you view it with jealousy overwhelming your mind?

When I see the flower, I just see it as it is. Beautiful flower. Exquisite contrast of colours. Vibrancy in blooming. Solidly strong. Wonderful creation from God.

I am also a creation from God. So why should I be jealous of the flower? Needless to say, I love to admire the flower. Simply because this flower is one of God’s wonderful creations.

By the blink of an eye, we are nearing April, the fourth month of Year 2015. How did we spend our first quarter of the year? ⏳🕙

I am amused that there are some memories that I can recall so clearly, whereas there are some I just couldn’t. I remembered Queenstown, my childhood haunt with my grandfather. I remembered his artistic drawings and his super-focused persona while he’s drawing and painting on the canvas. I remembered I was in awe of his talent back then, and secretly told myself I am as talented as him. True enough, I participated in many art competitions and had my art works displayed in my school grounds. I created plenty of craftwork, be it paper craft, wood craft, plasticine craft, clay figurines, crochet and cross-stitch…I did a lot. Now I wonder, back then how did I ever cope with my studies and ccas and yet at the same I was immersing myself with all my varied artistic hobbies??? How did I ever find time for everything???

These days, I feel super elated when it’s Friday. For that’s when I get to engage in my personal activities. To me, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. However, I make sure that I work hard and play hard. I am not a slacker, and I do not respect people who are lazy. The weekends are fun and personalised. But they are gone too soon each time 😱😱😱😱😱 I can never get enough out of my weekends, because there are simply too many things I want to do and handle. And doing the things we love are indeed blessings from God who allow us to do so. Amen!

All of us procrastinate to a certain extent. But with time slipping past us at such an increasing rate, I have to remind myself, do not wait till much later. Time waits for no one. And once you miss it, that moment is gone forever. I have known this for a long time. Thus I would never want to miss much moments with people whom I hold very closely to my heart. I just want to be there. It doesn’t matter if I don’t understand much. I can learn, and make myself useful. Seriously, I don’t think there is anything too difficult for us to solve if we set our heart and mind to do it. Most people give up in the midst because they aren’t convinced of their focus in life. I know clearly my focus in life. And for that, my priorities are very clear. Even when it gets tough, I don’t lose my sense of direction. Because I am very convinced.

Of course, I will be entering into next phase of my life, and I am not even talking about my age. However, I can’t help but be reminded of how fragile we are. Heard another piece of sad news. And this is the third piece I heard of within a four-month period.

I think it is hard, when things happen so near to you. Makes me think and rethink about life, my focus, my beliefs and my values.

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My favourite sweets

I don’t have the habit of eating sweet stuffs. When I was young, Mum prohibited my intake of sweets and sweetened drinks. Not that I grow up having a set of fantastic teeth, but I think it regulates my weight and health to a certain extent. Anyway, I don’t think I am missing out much on the sweet stuffs, except the fact I am still very much in love with pastries.

I sincerely think that I do know how to recognise the stuffs that I like. And yes, the sweets from Kyoto. I remembered when I first tasted it. That very moment I understood the reason for my rejection of the highly sweet stuffs. Kyoto sweets are totally different. It is my childhood’s sweet. My kind of sweet! 💗

I wonder whether distractions are good for me. And when I keep having similar dreams I feel fearful. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed. At times I tell myself the time is soon to come. 守得云开见月明. I don’t know whether I am looking forward or I am being hesitant. Things are hard to predict after all. While I know what I like and love, I am still in the process of evolving. At different phase of life I may think differently. Though I am much rooted to the core, I have been welcoming new waves of ideas and thoughts constantly.

如果是我的那位朋友, that would have been an earlier 云开了. But I am not that person. There are many things in life to pursue. Too many stuffs.

Funny. Once I walked to a Korean shop. The auntie insisted I am a Korean. I told her I am not. I wondered, do I look very cosmetically enhanced? 😢 Several days later I was out looking for a seat to rest and eat my snacks. An elderly folk saw me and suddenly asked me, ‘Japanese?’ Oh well…oh…😮 I don’t take extra steps to look like either of them. I just wear my own style and whichever style that suits me. I don’t take a conscious effort to look like either of them. I don’t want to be misunderstood as someone who follows trend. I am not. I wear very outdated stuffs, exist in my own world, very out of touch with reality. I am like a mountain tortoise, never been really out of the mountain, but I like the nature so much to miss out the skyscrapers! I may not sing the same tune as others, and I do not know how to bootlick anyone. My attitude is a ‘take it, or leave it’ logic. How do people withstand this??

In this world, somehow people like to hear and talk about negative stuffs of others. I recently encountered one, while being matured physically actually is a very negative person at heart. How could one distrust people so much???…OK, as I typed this out, it dawned upon me that I might be the naive one after all. But I still bear the hope that people grow and change for the better, with their willingness. How do we not grow? Why would we change for the worse? To me, these sounded ridiculous and thus I bear the hope, regardless of how naive it may sound. We have to try to see the goodness in people. Why should we be so negative about others? … as if I myself am being deemed the best. Oh well…

Home is where the heart is. I love doing the things I like, and spending time with the people I care about. 💖🏡💖

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