Average or Above Average

Thousands of decisions we make in life. This is not an easy feat for people who hold a serious view of their life. We know of people who are indecisive. We know of people who make lousy decisions. We know of people who are avoid making decision. We know of people who are decisive.

My friend is right. We are just not interested in competition. We aren’t the competitive sort. As such, how would we have 私心??? People who are like us, most likely place our emphasis and priorities on our loved ones. We may or may not be simple-minded. But we know where our heart lies. Our eyes do not wander for glitters of gold and specks of silver. Our heart does not flutter upon the lure of tempting sights. Is this considered as simple-minded?

All I know is, empty vessels make the most noise. Is there a need for a shout out? We don’t understand these people. And of course, I have never wanted these people to understand me either. My frame of mind, my heart, my loves, my emotions, my desires……these are too personal to me.

Yes, I still have dreams. Some dreams can be a reality, while some are just better left as dreams. It’s important that we know how to differentiate and not be delusional in our pursuits. Some people can’t, and they end up crossing the line. Some people don’t, and they end up testing the ground. For both groups, perhaps they aren’t attuned to the needs of themselves and their loved ones. Or perhaps they care more deeply about themselves than anyone around them. I can’t imagine, how much joy and life they have been missing out on. Joys that you share based on sincere happiness. Life that you share based on precious moments.

As what I have always mentioned, we can’t always expect to receive and yet not give. And time can never be replaced by money. Because I know myself and my priorities, I am willing to set aside my very logical yet emotional self in order to make appropriate decisions. I don’t want to miss any moments, for I wouldn’t be able to predict where I am in the future. Recent news of demise of people around our age group reinforced my convictions. There is a reason why I choose the way it is. And all decisions made were never easy for me, though some I only needed a day or two to sort it out. But knowing myself, I would have already thought about it for thousands of times…yes, that’s how active my brain is.

My priorities. It’s hard to distract me. My mum knows that. And thus she leaves me alone to settle my thoughts.

What cold months we have been having, for both Jan and Feb. It seems to be colder each year. I can even save on my electrical bills for air-conditioning.

I think I am enjoying Healer as much as City Hunter! I like adventures…

Sent from πŸ‘’πŸ‘—πŸ‘ πŸ‘œπŸ“±

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ζ˜₯风ζ₯δΈ΄

Actually I am feeling terribly sleepy now. As usual, I don’t seem to get enough sleep. What’s new, right? But at the same time, I don’t want to sleep because I have many errands and activities to do. Nonetheless I try not to keep late nights. Beauty sleep is important.

Perhaps these years will pass by very quickly? Is this what I am hoping for and looking forward to?

I am thankful for my friends who have been standing with me all these while. Friends, make a great difference in my life. They aren’t friends whom I simply have a meal with on occasions. I have also learned that friends will keep a lookout for one another. There are some strange ones though…and for those, I can’t help but reassess the status…for I am not one who stick to people like a doormat. In fact, I enjoy being a loner. But the world doesn’t really work in this way, does she?

There are many places I want to explore. I want to keep myself healthy and strong. I can’t afford to be an absent-minded person. Perhaps I was too overwhelmed with tasks last year. To the extent that my brain is reacting with reduction of priorities. Too many priorities in my life. Taking too much of my focus and concentration. I can multitask but perhaps not to the extent of taking a toll on my health. My mind simply dismisses the unimportant ones…and yet to me, such items are still important…as ever. How?

I like to laugh and smile and joke around. But sometimes there are just people who don’t like to see this part of me. I don’t understand why, and wonder in what area I have irritated them. Some people are just hard to please. And my motto is not to please people. So isn’t this a brush of personality?

I still think ‘Do Min-Joon’ shi looks better as Healer….Oh…I have yet to recover from the drama I watched a year ago. Maybe I just like to watch dramas dealing with time…time travels or time stops…because in reality, we can’t do this, can we? It’s not that I want to go back in time. Do my studies all over again? Nice thoughts…I would have done law or communications. But well, I am not a competitive person. I most likely will not be happy as a lawyer. And I definitely don’t want to lose my happy self in the dark public relations environment. Bottomline: Being happy is of utmost importance to me. When I feel stifled, I go away, because I know I am not happy. When I do things without conviction, I dislike it, as the tasks become monotonous for me. Even a robot can replace my actions, can’t it? Just like we use robotic cleaner instead of a manual vacuum cleaner, washing machine instead of manually washing using hands….or the helper doing everything for us instead.

I think, being happy doing what one enjoys doing matters a great deal to me. I am no robot here. I have feelings. Much more feelings than what some people have thought of about me.

Well…looks are deceiving. Even actions could be misleading too. Do you trust me?

Sent from πŸ‘’πŸ‘—πŸ‘ πŸ‘œπŸ“±

Reciprocate

Relationship is a 2-way traffic. We keep hearing that. But do we really apply it?

When we meet people whom we’ve known/been introduced, do we say a simple ‘Hi-Bye’, or do we pretend that we aren’t aware of their existence?

When loving/caring for someone, do we focus on what we can receive from the person in the end?

Not too sure whether everyone has encountered this before. Nonetheless my buddies and I have met such people in our time. You knew each other, but somehow the other person seemed to have eye-magnet to the sky. So initially we wanted to smile and say hi, we became discouraged with the rudeness shown. Thereafter we simply stopped initiating any greeting.

Some people view relationships in a corporate business manner. If I put in 80% of my efforts, I must receive 100% profits. Hmm. Maybe. Well, if you put in 80% of your efforts. But wait, who is the one who measure this effort??? In this world, even if you put in 100% of efforts in the relationship, one may not get a full return either. Why? Because relationships are about human nature. Humans fall short of being perfect. How to get 100% returns? We need to recognise this fact, else we will forever be unhappy. Thus, if I choose to love and care, I should harbour no intention of receiving an equivocal amount of feelings. By this scenario, given that it’s too idealistic for human relationships, it seems that love can be both conditional and unconditional. Unconditional love: parent-child. Conditional love: up to your own imagination.

Reciprocate. How does one reciprocate the feelings? And is it a must for one to reciprocate the feelings?

I don’t want to be conditioned to reciprocate. Neither do I want to take advantage of one’s good intentions for me. I love to give willingly and wholeheartedly. I just do not like to be forced into giving. Likewise, I do not want to be around people who give grudgingly and boastfully. Lest I become like the latter.

A friend commented that ζˆ‘δΈζ˜―ηœζ²Ήηš„η―. Well…she is very right. Just that on a day to day basis, I am not bothered and concerned with wining anything. I find myself more like a sleeping dragon…I don’t get myself embroiled with the affairs of this world, unless I am being stirred to do so. And for that, I become relentless in my efforts.

To conclude…it’s my habit to sleep. Why give me a stir when I am resting?

Sent from πŸ‘’πŸ‘—πŸ‘ πŸ‘œπŸ“±