A bridge that I like

From the recent Da Vinci Exhibition at Marina Bay Sands Art & Science Museum. I have always been in awe of Leonardo Da Vinci. Ever since I read about him when I was in P5, in one of our primary school Chinese textbooks. Hmmm…apparently, P5 was a changing point in my life. Many things happened during that year. I didn’t forget.

While on the road today, I saw a cyclist riding on the left. Cyclists are the most vulnerable ones (besides motorcyclists), and thus I kept a far distance from this cyclist. I noticed that he swerved out to cut across 3 lanes without checking properly. No doubt I was way behind him, just on the lane beside him. There were speedier cars on the lanes adjacent to mine…I almost turned pale to see him swerving out to several lanes. Well, I know what some people would say…drivers are the reckless ones. While I also see many reckless and/or selfish drivers, I hope that cyclists also protect themselves well against such drivers. And to protect oneself, the cyclist must be vigilant. Please, yes, one may do lane change, but do it lane by lane, one step at a time, not three steps all at once. Not condemning anyone, some people tend to be more sensitive and myopic than others. I advocate for safety comes first. There are just some people in this world with very warp ideas — some drivers purposely drive very close to the cyclist — I don’t know whether that’s a scare tactic, but I see no reason why one has to drive so close to a cyclist, or a motorcyclist, a car….Safety comes first. Don’t let pride get into your way.

The bridge that I like. We saw a father building up the structure with his son and daughter. The son was about nine or ten year old. The daughter was about eight. We heard their conversations. In fact, the son looked up to his father so much so that while in the museum, he would ask his mum for his father when he didn’t see him around, and when he’s with his father, he would say, ‘Daddy, come!’ And there he would tug his daddy to some exhibits and ask his daddy questions. When his daddy was building the bridge together with his two children, and when the final structure was up and going strong, I could hear from the boy’s voice that he’s proud and in awe of his daddy. This, I believe, is what all sons wanted…be in awe of their father.

I thought that it was an appropriate activity for the father and son, both of them building the structure together, and thus created a bond. Bonding of the woods to get the structure, bonding of the father and son to get the structure. What type of structure does one want? What do you envision?

A fellow friend whatsapped us that his good friend had a stroke and is soon to be declared brain-dead. It was upsetting. And heartwrenching. Our friend is in his mid-forties, and his good friend is around the same age. Both are with families. Suddenly, don’t we find that we have been hearing of such news happening increasingly? Stroke. End.

That’s why I don’t understand why people like to fight cats and dogs over meaningless things in life. Pursuit of wealth, pursuit of power, pursuit of pride?…aren’t we supposed to go in pursuit of happiness?…

Some people are happy when they win. Does this happiness last? Will it make them grow? Does it satisfy them and not make them greedy?

Some people are happy when they stop you from being happy. They just like to see you in unhappiness. Isn’t that warp? Well, though I don’t understand their mindset, I’m quite ok with letting them think that they are happier than me. To me, you happy, can liao. LOL…good customer service skills? Heeheehee…

We have our ups and downs in life. My learning curve has always been very steep. When I was young, I dismantled the radio cassette, and taped different rolls together to form new music. When I was young, I dismantled a camera to understand how it worked. I proceeded to edit video tapes, fix water taps, stop flickering bulbs without changing them. Now I can even repair the toilet…LOL

I should have studied engineering. Or computer science. Since I did Pascal and Basic Programming when I was in Sec One, and did CADCAM in Sec Three…I missed those days when I went to the then-EDB to learn Macintosh with the big colorful Apple Logo…πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”

Well, I’ve kept low all these while. I enjoyed learning everything, from Art & Music to Arts to Science to Humanities…I still have aplenty to learn.

The next, would be the development of apps. I’ve always been very interested in this, just that I am taking more than what my physical self can allow. Back in the younger days when I did Programming, I always felt challenged and exhilarated when I got the script running. So, how do I pick up from there?…

Thinking that maybe one of these days I should also learn how to cut hair…Heylo, I cut my own fringe, mostly. And the recent disastrous hair fringe cut by a local stylist gave me the hope that maybe my own skills are on par with him, or even better…LOL. It’s not that difficult to cut a 土土 hairstyle right? 😁😁😁

Whatever it is, we all have our own talents. Seriously, there’s not a need to be jealous of anyone. We just have to give our best when we learn something. And even if we don’t do it well the first time, η†Ÿθƒ½η”Ÿε·§, sooner or later, we can make it better. Just like cooking and baking. Just like sewing. Just like programming. Just like loving.

Step by step, even a snail can reach its destination.



Loving this Tape Roller!

If I am a frivolous person, I would indeed have plenty of loves. ε€„ε€„η•™ζƒ…πŸ˜˜πŸ’žπŸ’‹πŸ’Œ Loves food, loves Japan, loves the nature, loves K and Jdrama, loves to sleep, loves cooking, loves gadgets, loves sewing…and most important of all, loves my family and friends…LOVES…πŸ’–

Actually, I love quietness.

Sometimes I am rather upset that this is such a chaotic world. And complicated as such. Maybe I have very high expectations, for that’s the result of high expectations of myself as well. Sometimes I ask myself, which is the truth, and which is the illusion? There are people who love giving illusions. Or maybe they don’t want to reveal themselves. For fear of reasons I don’t know. Or maybe they know the right things but yet choose to do otherwise, and hence they come up with various reasons and illusions? There are people whom I trust…and most often, these people are very consistent in their words. Their words match their actions. δ»–δ»¬δΈζ˜―ε£ζ˜―εΏƒιžηš„δΊΊ. Over the years, I met my fair share of people who behave inconsistently. Do I behave like that too???…I must say that I’ve been rather disappointed. But I try not to think too deeply into it. I think too much noise disrupts harmony. Is it wrong to have a lone time???…

At times I wonder, why do people like to compete in this world? Being overly competitive, wouldn’t that put a person in a more stressful situation? On the other hand, if one doesn’t bear pride in doing well, isn’t that loftiness?

Such a thin line to tread. That’s why I dislike to think too deeply. Just watch my dramas and laugh it out loud, cry it out pathetically…everything exists in this cyber world. Communication, entertainment, even break-ups.

Actually, I am too busy to be involved in too many redundant activities. I don’t know, but passion and joy are important factors to me. What I hate is absolute zombie living, with a part of me taken away as time goes by…ok, not so horrifying, there are still other things I enjoy indulging in. Just that I am very clear about my joys and passions.

Tape roller. Used to buy many redundant stationery items when I was much younger. Stopped buying them for more than a decade, except for occasional whims. Tape roller is what I like. And a nice lady mentioned to me that I would definitely love the tape rollers with specific Japanese wordings…ooohhh…amazing how people who don’t know me for long but yet know about my loves.

I can’t comprehend how people can behave so differently in their lives. Don’t they lose track of themselves? I am quite amazed that there are many soft hearted people in this world who are willing to keep giving chances to such psycho. To me, it’s within a year. Any amount of time more than that, I’m the fool. Haha, actually I am most likely a fool in another person’s mind, for there is someone I know who gives a half-a-year timeline…and thereafter, confirmed, chopped, stamped and shipped…AWAY. And we aren just talking about normal human relationships. Hmm…maybe not so normal after all?

A good time to catch up with my varied interests. I am such a hermit when it comes to development of interests. I can be so engrossed that I don’t even pay attention to anyone/anything. Thank goodness I’m able to control myself and have delayed gratification…yes, interested but I will put my interest away first until I have the time and energy…

If there is a past life, I must have been a robot!…πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„


A quote for my thoughts

Unhappiness is a poison, happiness is a curse.

In this case, which is the greater EVIL? πŸ‘Ώ

Unhappiness. I don’t know how to deal with this. I mean, people. Constantly finding things to criticise. I can’t imagine their moments of joy. Are their joys even real to begin with? There are people who are perpetually unhappy. They may fall into a cycle of highs and lows. During their high moments — which are often short spurts — they tend to treat people with sweetness and gentleness. Thereafter, somehow, their moods suddenly swing into another end of the pendulum. Maybe earlier on when they treat people with sweetness and gentleness, they are expecting something in return. However, people may not reciprocate in the way they want. And thus, the pendulum swing. They may wallow in their own self pity for quite a while, and see themselves as the victim, placing all responsibilities away from themselves. As time goes by, they indulge in this ‘play-the-victim’ act so much so it becomes a part of their daily lives. And somehow, the act may disappear totally in time, as these people don’t even try to treat others with sweetness and gentleness anymore. Wow, that’s surely quite the ULTIMATE. For people who belong to the UNHAPPY group, they may exhibit their moods directly or indirectly onto others. The more reactive ones tend to make it loud, exploding, shouting, screaming, bashing. The less reactive ones tend to harbour negative thoughts in their minds, and plot the various ways to create even more unhappiness for others. Once again, who is the greater EVIL?

Both love to push away their responsibilities. If something goes wrong, it is your fault, not mine. If things don’t turn out the way he/she wants, it is the others who aren’t putting enough effort. Oh right, whatever it is, the problem is always with others, not with self.

Such a pain in the arse to hear these negative remarks.

And of course we may have a strange group, who tend to do nothing much for themselves and yet like to lament about life. In life, at least thus far for me, I always believe in giving the best shot. Ok, we may set a limitation on our best shot, as the shot depends on our priorities in life. I always believe in trying. But only when we are the ones in control. Example, studies, work, competitions etc. These are the stuffs which we can keep trying, we are the ones in control of our efforts, aren’t we? However, at the same time, we have to be realistic about our efforts. There is just so much we can do as a human actually. A day of 24 hours, do you expect me to spend the entire day chasing after cats and dogs, and neglecting my body? Some people have this very selfish thought, it is your body, not mine, why should I care?…That’s right, so why should anyone care about doing things for these selfish people? It is not a joy doing things for selfish people. [Selfish = Unhappy] To rephrase, it is not a joy doing things for unhappy people. Why would that be a joy when it’s a poison? Seriously, this will slowly eat into your life. And it’s a poison because it creates unhappiness for everyone.

Unhappy people never stop to think about others. It is the I-Me-Myself attitude. LOL doesn’t that sound very familiar? Isn’t that me — I value my me-time very much??? LOL True enough to a certain extent, hence I try to put away my me-time by spending time to do some meaningful activities. How can I be such a loner? I still need friends after all. And friendships certainly help me a lot these years. Friends whom share very similar values and beliefs in life. Friends whom place very similar priorities in life: family, friends, community. Friends whom value similar traits and attributes: loyalty, trustworthy, hardworking, caring, responsibility. For people whom we somehow discovered are of different goals in life, I have already taken the step to place them away. Far away. However, I do keep such, but they aren’t termed as friends, they are entertainers. Fine to be with them for entertainment and laughter once in a while, but never for the moments of deep sharing and emotional connection. We should all know by now, there are really just certain groups of people whom we can talk about specific items. For business connection, we will hook up with someone. For entertainment purpose, we will gather some khakis. For meaningful time, we know whom we want to see…and connect with.

I thank God for allowing me to meet people whom have given me much guidance and support in one way or another. I thank God for the friendships He has blessed me with for all these years. And seriously just when I think that I am more of a loner (maybe that’s me from the past when I was in a dark world), God bless me with a number of new friendships…this made me in awe…there is Nothing that God cannot do.

At this moment, while my life is not perfect, I am happy in a way. Yet at the same time, I am wary of being happy. What do I mean by that?

Remember the next half of my quote?
Happiness is a curse.

Being happy attracts both positive and negative people. Positive people recognise each other, whereas negative people just want to dampen the spirits of the positive. It’s draining when negative people tag onto you. They really suck all the life out from you. And to them, this is what we owe them. They take it for granted, never a word of thanks with sincere gratitude. Most happy people aren’t wary of others. It’s tiring to be on a guard against others. It’s like treading on egg shells. And thus with the negative ones, eventually the happy ones will be placed onto the pendulum swing. Hey, I seriously dislike this pendulum swing. I have had enough melodrama in my life thus far. So much so that the moment I see one I would want to leave ASAP. Without the melodrama-mama/papa, happy people are just happily being happy. But with those mentioned, happy people have to cope being unhappily happy…πŸ˜πŸ˜•πŸ˜…or happily unhappy? πŸ‘€

Hopefully we shall all emerge stronger than the poison, unlocking the curse.


Music from the early 90s

Always enchanted by this piece of song by Gregorian Sisters ‘Once in a lifetime’. The music is so sensual, the lyrics is so wild, the singing is so touching…but I just could never understand their mv on this. Perhaps just listening to the song is better. There’s not a need for the video. It’s just like in life we may prefer to admire from afar, and if ever we get close, we’ll realise that ultimately this is not for me…or us.

It’s hard to convince myself. Being so used to have things according to my way and like. I’m not a Princess, but I prefer my way, so how?

The problem with me is I am too independent. Overtly independent. And in order not to be intimidating, I’ve to place my trait down. No, I don’t feel like a fool doing that. I just don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable. And especially so for nice and kind people. Perhaps it’s my mannerisms. Am I being too direct in my speech? Do I wear my emotions on my face unknowingly?

Actually by thinking so much in this way, I prefer to just stay away…too many voices, too many distractions. I find myself draining out of energy.

Just like now…I am dozing off…