When I was young, I loved to sit in the car, peering through the windows, trying my best to look at the architecture around me. Especially the houses that people lived in. And I wondered about their lives…
Well, that’s when I was way so much younger than now. I still like architecture of various buildings, I’m still fascinated with the Concourse, Seagate, Esplanade. I remembered watching the construction of the shorter tower of UOB Plaza. Oh, why didn’t I end up as an architect?…0_0
I love designing. Houses, furniture, clothes, necklaces, bracelets. Why did I give up on my love? I love art so much. Up till now, even my parents still remember my talent in this area. It’s really unfortunate that I give it up for the sake of being practical. Have I done the right thing?
I always opt for the practical reasons. Though I’ve been using my heart more these days, the realistic side of me has never left me. It’s a bit of struggle having to deal with these extremes. How do I maintain my sanity?
Sometimes, I feel like breaking out of these walls. I need space. Plenty of space. I crave for creativity, I need avenues for that. Really, I just can’t imagine, but yet I can imagine, that somehow this is the way as it goes…oh well, do I have to accept it?
It’s kinda depressing if I keep asking myself questions that I can’t answer. Or maybe I just don’t want to answer, because that will mean aplenty of changes. And changes make one uncomfortable. I might as well take the travellator, go along with it…it’s not worth my time to think so much. Really?…Time?…
I think, I really have a lot of patience. I’ve been kept waiting many times, as directed by God. And each time, I wandered, I fidgeted, I lamented, I cried…You see, I am not a patient person by nature. And to be patient is a torture for me. Of course, I have evolved much. Very much. But that doesn’t mean that I can be in ZEN mode. Sigh.
I don’t know whether it’s good that time flies. Every weekend went away so fast. I can’t even grab hold of a second. To me, this is scary. What has happened to all the time that flew by??? 😮😮😮 i don’t want to be regretful of the times that I have. Hence even if I may find it tough, I still brave it on, and finding cheers from it. And of course, praying hard.
There may be some who also share similar sentiments as I do. We don’t want to waste time, yet there are too many stuffs for us to accomplish. We cherish all moments, and want to spend as much time as we can with people whom we love and care for. I want to remember the joys, the anticipations, the thrills, the sharing, laughter, the discoveries…there are really so much!…but how much can I contain in my memory? It certainly struck me badly when I discovered recently I couldn’t recall a photograph I had taken…😔absolutely no memory of it. And it was a sad discovery for me. For that photograph was meant to be precious. And yet I have no memory of it. How bad it must have been for me, without my realisation……? 😱
At the end of the day, buildings can be demolished, walls can be knocked down. What we can see, is a vast piece of land. To be open in our feelings, and not to keep stifling our thoughts.