Selfie!

Ha, yes I know selfie. Ha, I look at my photographs from various years. Oh dear, some years I do look bad and weird 🙈

Not that I look fantastic now either 🙊
But well, looks are subjective, aren’t they? For the longest time in my life, I actually think that the knight(s) in my life must be tan, preferably very sporty…somehow, I realise, 我的确prefer白马 👀🎠 I need to be fairer as well, right? Skincare products…I am fine only with Laneige and EDN. I have not tried SKII for years. More than a decade I think so? Estée Lauder is simply too rich for me. The same case for Sulwhasoo…though I like the ginseng ingredient, but somehow, it’s just not suitable for me at this moment 😟

I like rock climbing. I like to climb. How I miss those younger days when I climbed the playground with my friends. Miss those times so much! I think, my childhood is indeed the best and most unforgettable period. Maybe at least for the first four years…and a bit of P5…and P6. I remembered I used to go to the nearby CC and watched some of my friends learning Taekwondo 😌 I think I need to dig out my autograph books. So many nice memories 😘😘😘

My kindergarten teacher indeed affected much of my childhood. Preschool teachers are very important. What she said to my mother affected me so much that most of the teachers only knew me as one who’s very hardworking and obedient…oh well…I’m a rebel…😒😒😒 I don’t like to follow. Unless I’m fully convinced. Else most of the times, it’s my way…not your way.

As I’m a rebel, I go to lengths doing things. Even when people think it’s bizarre. I don’t understand why it’s bizarre in the eyes of others. Maybe they just want to follow. Follow what? Follow the line in front? Follow the queue?…hmmm…

I’m not a carbon copy. Hence I don’t want to just follow. Can’t we think? Nevertheless, I also wish that people don’t criticise for the sake of criticism. Can’t we look at things objectively? 😔

I know that I am able to see issues separately. But it can be difficult for me at times, as I worry about people being confused about the way that I am. It’s hard to explain to people as they aren’t me. And I find that people are more emo…than myself. Not everyone though 😌 Thank goodness!

Sometimes, when you find a person not being healthy for your growth, you just need to find your own space. I am quite upset to find that I’m not healthy for a friend of mine. It’s not that this friend is jealous of me. And I know that this friend wishes the best for me. Unfortunately, the very presence of me doesn’t help this friend to grow…maybe my presence inhibits the growth, along with contrasting personalities and outlooks towards life and living. It’s a very sad event for me. I’ve been trying to accept it. And to be mindful that I don’t step into this friend’s zone. I treasure the friendship, and I cherish the good thoughts as well. I accept that we do need our personal space. I definitely NEED that…

Wishing for the best 🌠
I need a good rest 🏡

努力过自己想过的生活 😊🌈❄️☀️⛄️⭐️🌻🐒🐰🍵😊

20140902-215827.jpg

Stingray

I think it’s kinda strange to go to any aquarium. At least for me. I’m a seafood lover. Hence, to enter into an aquarium is akin to putting myself in temptations. 😄 So utterly tempted by stingrays especially…

But well, I do have a love for animals. I love rabbits, dogs, horses, giraffes…and fishes. I’m not good with taking care of them though…because I’m too tied up for time, and I don’t want my pets to be deprived of my time either. So since I can’t find a good arrangement, it’s better for me not to have any pet. Hmmm…looking after pets require commitment. So hopefully those people who have pets are the committed ones, and not the types who just want one second of enjoyment.

August is a long month. Somehow I feel very tired, despite the long rest I was given earlier on. Perhaps age has been catching up with me. I am aging prematurely 😁😁😁 I want to start jogging, bought my gear but have yet to make my resolution. Keep pushing it behind, because I want to sleep. I’ve been thinking a lot. Basically a one-man show, I have to be in-charge of making all decisions myself. I may not make the best of all decisions, but at least for each decision, I try as best as possible to stay true to myself. I don’t want to be in a position to do something I don’t like, and end up sulking the entire day/week/month. Things may not be pleasant, but I do hope to be cheerful in doing my stuffs on a daily basis. I may be very busy and exhausted, hence I hope that I have enough energy through the week…and to catch up on my rest whenever possible. Not everyone understand the need for a rest. Some may think I’m being lazy. Well, let them think what they like to think, if that pleases them. They think I am lazy, I think they are crazy. 😄😄😄 That’s how life goes. You can’t force everyone to be like you. Are we mooncakes made from the same batter??? Even so, we are of different factories…😀😀😀

Since people are different, let them be. No point trying to force the other party to be the same as you. At least to me, I think, if that works for you, great for you, and I’ll be happy for you. Likewise, I hope the other person will respect that for me…

Much too often in life, people just want you to do things according to THEIR way. I can still try to understand if it’s from a logical point of view. But what if the person wants you to do it in that way just based on subjective reasoning????….😳 Haiz, I don’t have things to tell them then…automatic shut down. System doesn’t want to recognise this code anymore. So ignore is the best policy.

Really? Being oblivious, is that what the person wants from people?

All it takes is to smile, be sincere, take positive proactive steps. We know that it’s hard to change our mindset. So before we change others, let’s change our mindset first. To me, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I rather try than giving up. I like to say, yes, please try. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. If I try, at least I’m convinced. Well, that’s provided if I’m indeed doing my best. No excuse for those who just like to hide behind the curtain.

As long as it is positive, my default is, always TRY.

Okay, stingray…I want to grill my fish!!!!

努力过自己想过的生活 😊🌈❄️☀️⛄️⭐️🌻🐒🐰🍵😊

爱在他乡

不知道有多少人还记得这部连续剧《爱在他乡》。剧中收入这首歌曲:
http://m.56.com/view/id-OTA5MTE2ODU.html

黎明 – 我等不到你
喜欢这首歌的旋律
喜欢黎明诠释这首歌的情感
太动听了!
那时候的我,好迷恋这首歌曲!
哈,说什么嘛,连歌曲也能迷恋?太不像话了!
就是嘛,人们迷恋的是儿女私情,我迷恋的却是歌曲,真的有问题吧?哈哈哈😄

I think it all depends. I also have a romantic side of me. Hopeless romantic side. My close friend should know this about me. I may sound very down-to-earth, and of course, in many areas, I am extremely down-to-earth, but I have my own dreams and fantasies as well. Right? And I do not mind taking these into reality. As long as it is not detrimental to my life. For what’s life if I am all so routine and rigid?

Depends on how people view it. I have never mentioned anything, so many things could be left to interpretation or imagination. I do not know whether this is good for me, as I do have plenty of space for imagination…LOL it’s only a matter of whether I want my space to be intruded.

天时地理人合。我相信。
在我没有时间时,我理都不会理。稍微有空时,看是什么情况吧…心情纳闷时,我喜欢独自一个人,远离所有吵杂的地方与人类。笑嘻嘻的我,不一定会让任何人进入我的世界。我的世界属于我自己,我喜欢自由,不爱受约束。我不想自讨苦吃,一向来我行我素,不要被绊住。

会不会吓死人?
或许一些人会把我列为神经病!哈哈哈😄
我不是怕付出情感,而是我不是个会定下心情的人。或许我不喜欢谈情说爱,这年代,情爱有价值吗?我不知道。因为我喜欢的情爱不属于这个地方?

爱在他乡。好浪漫的感觉哟!嘻嘻😁
难怪我成天遇见的人都是艺术性质的人。唉!追求浪漫有错吗?我只是不喜欢谈情说爱罢了……

难以了解,不是吗?

Well, it all depends. Really depends. I can choose to make my dream into reality. But when it becomes a reality, is that really what I want??? I think this is the part that I have yet to answer. And maybe I lack the courage to answer. I may have a dream. And wish for the dream to come true. But for me to actually take the steps and make it turn into a reality really SCARES me badly 😮😧😏 Ok, I am a coward. After all.

What nonsense am I spouting at this time of the day?…Time flies, and it’s at the speed of light…soon December…soon next June…soon next Christmas, soon a new year…soon a new perspective…soon…more changes…

Am I thinking too far beyond what I can see? Well, I am not one who lives simply just in present. Nor am I lingering at my past. I project myself forward, within a few years, and beyond. At each stage, I recognise myself, because that’s my projected growth. At each stage, I challenge myself and welcome new changes…changes may be scary. But I’ve learnt to just adapt and go with the flow…commit my plans to God and He will lead me to the path eventually. I have the concrete paths. What is missing from my plans? Emotions…heart…hmmm…

I concentrate too intensely on reaching my destination so much so that I forget the existence of people around me…

I never learn…Haiz!

努力过自己想过的生活 😊🌈❄️☀️⛄️⭐️🌻🐒🐰🍵😊

百看不厌

I heart this drama a lot! I can even watch it for several rounds…LOL since Dec/Jan! 😄😄😄

Who doesn’t like one with special powers? And special powers need not be about money, education, or status. It is…hmmm…just something special. Isn’t it? Hence, it’s not about power, it’s about special, a-ha! Yeah, special, SPECIAL, THAT special!

情人眼里出西施 Some people may find Lee Min-Ho irresistible. Some may find Rain super. Hmmm…I used to like Jang Dong Gun oppa…ahem now ajusshi. That was like almost 14 years ago! But I did like this oppa for a very long time till I met someone who reminded me of him. LOL but well, that’s a bubble burst because I think we are of different worlds, and I really think that it’s not just about liking each other. I may be wrong, but I think it’s not a problem for someone to like me or me doing that vice versa, but to be committed, it certainly means more than like, more than love, more than…I don’t know how to term it. Maybe it’s that special. The SPECIAL. Well, maybe someone go and get a LMH surgery. Maybe that might be nice. I don’t know. But height is a problem as well, isn’t that so?

Hey, I’m spouting nonsense hahaha…but seriously, I used to know a friend who towered over me. 1.88m. And I felt real scared, just walking beside him. Hahaha…and a funny gal who was interested in him actually thought that he was interested in me! 😁😁😁 I didn’t understand, why couldn’t we be just friends????? It is good to have friends, and I like to have friends. Despite me a person who craves for me-time, it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy friendships. I enjoy talking to people and mixing around. The only problem with me is I have limited energy…LOL

Yes, I like this character Do Min-Joon shi. Very rigid and full of principles in life. LOL but super protective of the one he loves. And always being there for Cheon Songyi, despite her not knowing initially. This drama is so cute. I thought that when I first watched it more than half a year ago I would just consider it as simply another K drama. But well, it turns out that up till now, almost 9 months later, I still enjoy watching this drama. Heeheehee 😊😊😊

Being simple is nice. I am not chasing after anything. And maybe to others this is so impossible, but really, impossibility exists only in the state of mind. I think dreams can be a reality. And I pray that I have time to build upon my dreams and enjoying the reality of my dreams. Yes, my dreams may be very ridiculous. Never mind. It’s alright. My dreams may change suddenly. Never mind, I can be flexible. My dreams may be hilarious. Never mind, just laugh at it.

Life. Don’t just dream. Live. Laugh. Care. Share. Love. Be happy.

Where is my Do Min-Joon shi? LOL

Love the heart I adore.

Realisation

I believe that we all have our fair share of people who tell us this: You can’t do it.

What do they mean by ‘you can’t do it’?

Most often than not, I’ll just shrug it off. Why don’t you wish for the best for me? Is this so difficult?

Here I am, not with reference to anyone in particular, but of thoughts from the various articles I have been reading. And of course, sometimes, some things happened, and that sets me thinking…

What is the intent behind such unconstructive comments and discouragement?

I am of the view, that no one should impose on the other for the benefit of one self. Hence, even if it pains me so much, I would still wish for the other to learn and grow, think and realise.

I may not be a good influence. Sometimes, I feel that the presence of myself doesn’t make the other feel better. And thus I rather choose to be distant. Not that I don’t care. But because I care too much. I wonder, are my feelings of such great intensity? I guess so. For when I care, I don’t say it with words. I may write a lot, but I don’t speak much. Year after year, I try to tell myself to change, say it with words, not actions. But I’m not convinced. What are words without actions? Hmmmm….

Of course, such things and thoughts only apply to myself. Maybe others feel it differently. People have different wants and needs. I respect that. Likewise, I hope that people also recognise that I have my own wants and needs too. Much too often, people are just imposing their ideas on us. Why should I be satisfying other people’s ideas of myself? I have my own vision.

So, stay true to myself. Don’t change just to please others. Change only when I am convinced. Because when I am convinced, nothing can stop me. Except God. I am very convinced that God is here. And as such, I’m disturbed as to what I should be praying for. I am a very half-hearted person. Maybe I lack the drive. Maybe I am thinking of too many excuses for myself. Maybe I just need plenty of time. Maybe…Whatever it is, I know that once I commit my prayers to God, my prayers will be answered. And thus, I have to be very careful in what I am praying for.

Time. Space. Freedom.
Health. Safety.
Love. Laugh. Care.
Share. Help. Understand.
Patience. Patience. Patience.

This is such a familiar sight. Yet it seems to be such a distant thought. New buildings: Marina Bay Sands and Singapore Flyer. With these two iconic structures, is the view the same as yesterday?

Love the heart I adore.

My time, my present

Time is precious. And we can’t even save it. There is no time bank. Because time is a present to be given to people/activities we deem as precious. So stop thinking that there’s always another time. There isn’t and there won’t be any. Time is best at present. And for that, we have to live that very moment, happy.

There isn’t anything wrong to laugh and be happy over even the smallest lovely things in life. Some people think that we are nuts. Never mind, it’s alright. We are nuts. So?

There isn’t anything wrong to smile at the thoughts of someone/some thing. Some people think we are trying to be funny. Never mind, it’s alright. We are indeed funny. So?

Really, why do we have to straighten our faces and be so prim and proper, stern and firm all the time? Can’t we give more moments of heeheehahahohohu? When we are happy, our face will reflect that. And for that, please let us all keep smiling 😊😊😊 with joy in our heart, don’t keep thinking of the negativity. Negativity certainly zaps all your energies and in turn makes one look more aged than possibly so. I am not saying that one is without woes in life. Yes, we win some, we lose some. But we don’t keep looking at the glass and think that it’s empty. It’s not empty. In fact, the glass is filled with air…and in turn, it produces melodious sounds along with the wind.

Thanks to my friend who introduces this app. Heehee…something to be happy about. Simple?

Thanks to someone who helps to tend to our needs and in turn gives a surprised present. Heehee…something to be happy about. Simple?

Thanks to my friends who bring me moments of selfies and groupies…LOL something to be happy about. Simple?

We can learn many things with time. We can be happy with time. Even though times have been slipping by so fast, and we are unable to grasp it by any mean.

Yes, the inability to stop time can be scary. And we may end up fearing…oh, such darkness…do we need these to cloud our minds? No matter what, we are at present, and time is a present.

Love the heart I adore.

Teardrops versus Raindrops

I don’t understand this, but whenever I look at this kinetic rain, I think of teardrops instead of raindrops. No, I am not in a state of melancholy, not emo either. Just that these little droplets remind me of the eyes of the Precious Moments figurines. Don’t they??? The teardrop eyes??? 😳

The incident keeps spinning in my mind. I freeze whenever I see the big trucks. It’s as if I’m viewing a real-life Hollywood movie…I can still remember the horrifying sounds…0_0

I hope I can see more beautiful sights. Or rather, I hope I can find more beauty from wherever I am. Hope to find interesting stuffs and encounter unforgettable moments. But the bottom line still remains the same: HAPPY moments.

Changi Airport Terminal One reminds me of those days with my grandfather, uncles and aunties. We were so young, so young, so young then…and getting older certainly never crossed the minds of the younger children back then. I definitely didn’t think that years down the road, I would be bringing my child on such trips to the airport… The place may have changed, but the mindsets of parents most likely remain the same.

Love the heart I adore.

Retro seen: Movie Player

Oh dear, I didn’t get the name of this retro stuff, and hence I termed it as Movie Player. Remembered mum told me that she used to watch snippets of movie via such machine. Wow, so interesting!

Body is aching quite a bit. This is just as bizarre as in the past. I know God is here. But what is He telling me???… I have no idea.

What I sense. What I think. What I conclude. Sigh. Does it matter? I may not be accurate in my senses. I may not be thinking in the same way as most people. And this may be still too early to conclude. Anyway, I have so many things to attend to. 大大小小的事都是我处理,唉,累死啦!Of course it’ll be easier if I just ask for help and such…but I don’t. And that is me. Not that I don’t trust people. I trust my friends and family. Just that I am very accustomed to doing things all by myself. If you don’t know me well, you might think that I’m a control freak. But I’m not. Because I’m not what I seem to be. I may love to wear dresses, but I’m very gungho by nature. So don’t use your own glasses to look at me. I may not be what you think I am.

Don’t you find that the days passed by in the speed of light? How all of us have grown…and becoming different. A conversation with my friend revealed more about myself. That my change is inevitable. Because I need to find myself. Yea, I know. I just need to be in a quiet place in Japan…sip some tea and admire the cherry blossoms. If I have the time, fold the paper cranes, do the kimono origami, arrange the flowers…hmmm…just take it slowly…people are always rushing…this is not healthy living.

Love the heart I adore.

The Old School Way

I have been using photobook format for our previous trips. This time, I decided to do it in the old school way. And haha, I realised that some photographs that I took actually bore resemblance to a post card. 😊😊😊 Super duper happy with my photography skills. Actually, it’s my camera that’s doing the tricks, and most of the credits are to be accorded to the actual location as well.

Petite France is a very lovely and quaint location for photography enthusiasts. I am not one though. I take photographs of places mainly because I do not have a good memory. And I want all these memories to be recorded down…I do not want to lose my memory. Once upon a time, someone shared with me that it is important to have a camera because we have limited memories in our head. And since then, I tell myself, I don’t want to lose my memories.

While packing, I browsed through two big boxes of old photographs. I didn’t realise that I actually have these photographs. All I can remember was I keep my childhood photographs…and my early uni days…for they were part of my much cherished times. Nevertheless, here they are, stacks upon stacks. I need to get albums to slot them in.

Maybe I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to look through the boxes earlier on. Maybe I knew they were there. But my brain conveyed the message they were not, and replaced my memory with only my cherished times. Whatever it was, now, I just want to put them properly in an album, or two, and make sure they are being placed nicely. But I will still place them at the corner of my cupboard, for at this moment, I want to see my present times.

I wish that I have learnt the language well. I don’t understand why I never seem to put my heart and soul upon it. Maybe I’ve always been a half-hearted kind of person towards things in life? To move myself out from the comfort zone, why doesn’t I think of that when younger? I mean…I should have done all these during age 18-25!?! No?…

Well, whatever it is, I can’t turn back the time. I can’t undo what I have done in the past. So, just as Frozen the movie, let it go…I know it’s scary to think about this, but even my friend can’t believe she’s going to be 39 as well. As for me, hahaha, I think staying in good health and being happy are vital to a 39-yo person. 记得一位好老师曾与我分享:开心是一天,伤心也是一天,不如干脆开开心心过每一天?… Many years later, mum is also sharing the same advice with me…

I don’t know. Maybe I freeze at the thought of 伤心. What would constitute that? What events or happenings would actually lead to such an emotion?… Maybe I just don’t want to think about it, push away the thoughts, and so to me, I don’t have to face up to this word 伤心. I shall say that this word is foreign to me.

Is it, really……foreign?

I don’t know. I understand that we are in control of our future. But just like what happened so unexpectedly this morning…when the skies were clear, the day was bright, the air was fresh…and I was just really doing nothing at that moment…yet I can’t prevent things from happening. So who is in control of my future? It’s definitely not me. It’s God……it’s God……He created a buffer for me and us, and sent His angels to be with us. Time is just so precious. And I want to remember each moment. And at the same time, I want to spend my precious moments with my precious people. How I wish there is a fraternal ME…hahaha…co-existing…within the same frame but different locations hahaha…or maybe we should not only have 24 hours in a day, but 48 hours…that should be the way…8 hours of work, 10 hours of sleep, 5 hours of ME time, 10 hours of family time, 5 hours of housework time, 5 hours of social time, and 5 hours of community time……hmmmm….

Okay, all these exist in my dream.

Love the heart I adore.