Energy blue dress from MNG

This blue dress is not electric blue. To me, it’s energy blue! Wah, maybe I lack energy! O_0

I’m still wondering what I should do with my hair. A hairstylist told me before, I had natural waves, hence he advised me not to rebond, not to perm either. He told me to leave it, and enjoy my waves. What he said made sense to me, as I do like my fizzy and wavy hairstyle. But I want more hair! LOL.

So what should I do with my hair??? Sigh.

I don’t want to perm and I don’t want to rebond. So just cut???

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

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Before I forget about this……

Oh my……i could relate so much to the last few moments of this movie! The female lead hopped onto the cab, leaving the male lead standing alone by the pedestrian walkway……she would never ever see him again, unless fate allows…while she’s on the cab, she was fighting hard and contemplating of alighting, and rush out to where he was, where she had left him…the lights turned in favour of the cab, and the cabbie drove off……

I was very affected by this scene. Yes, once in a while, I’ll have such kind of hangover. I shared her sentiments…you have to tell yourself, the best is always left at its best moment, don’t attempt to own it, don’t attempt to control it…it’s a painful moment, and it’s best kept in a special part of your heart…, because only you know about this, about this person and how this person made you feel……

Very dramatic. I’m a hopeless surreal romantic craze. LOL. Surprisingly. Perhaps that’s why I tend to encounter more of such things. It’s strange, I must have a weird magnet somewhere.

Back to that moment. If I had made my stand, I wouldn’t be in Singapore now. Regardless of which point in time I made my stand. Saying goodbye isn’t the easiest. To disappear is even harder. To forgo the opportunity is perhaps……the craziest.

Familiarity or faithfulness?
Insecure or being coy?
I don’t know.
Is it that every time when it comes to commitment, I have a fear of it? It doesn’t matter which party, as long as there’s a need for commitment, I would take 3 steps back and run…! Is that the reason for my recurring dream?

I also want to be normal. I’m tired of surrealistic dramatic feature. But I can’t deny that my need for space is very very very strong. It’s my selfish space. I indulge in it, can anyone take it? Maybe a poet will understand.

So emo by this movie. And the female lead’s controlled life…was she happy? She knew that she’s not. Yet she still opted for the ‘safe and familiar’ route. I also could resonate her sentiments…though I won’t support such passive acceptance of the safe route. Imagine…a part of you dying each day…that feeling is going to kill you more than anything else…

Does the truth matter? And whose truth do we really need?

………….
I can’t help running when my antennas are up…….

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Lighter colors

Seems that I have quite a number of beige, brown and cream coordinates. I can evolve to a tree…natural.

Was having a good conversation earlier with some people. Good to share views once in a while, especially the fact that we don’t belong to the same place yet we encounter similar incidents and share similar sentiments. I think, I’m just so glad I don’t encounter many people who are either bimbo or himbo. I mean, I wonder, what can you really talk about to such??? Ok, some people will consider me a snob in this way. But I don’t enjoy some silly conversations, once in a while I do enjoy. But apart from that…I just don’t like to waste my energy.

Getting restless. But I need to catch up with my sleep and space. SPACE. I like the fact that when I want to eat laksa, I can just cook laksa and put in whatever I want πŸ™‚ I’m a glutton. These days, I simply want to eat the spicy stuffs. Tom-yam, green curry, laksa…am I deprived? Hahaha.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Milky white top from Banana Republic

I like the tone of this top. Milky white that resembles marigold πŸ˜‰ Casual yet seems elegant at the same time. Haha, maybe it’s only me who thinks of it in this way since I’m the one wearing it!

Really delighted to see Lowry’s Farm clothings over here, apart from Rosebullet. Hopefully, we see more of Japan’s imports here. That’ll be gr8!!!

Sometimes I do forget that age is catching up with me! ^_* Okie, my dear and kind friends will always beg to differ. But well, I don’t think I can ever cheat God in my age and physical body. However, when I was out today, I thought that hey presto! my energy level was up and going strong! Heehee… I think, most likely due to my happier mood since last year. The happy sights of being back in a place where I won’t ever be under close scrutiny and criticisms. The happy times of cooking and baking stuffs I like a lot, without anyone thinking I was trying to poison his/her precious! Oh my…..the feelings were terrific! Such moments certainly contributed to plenty of my good energy πŸ˜‰

Dad cooks real well. I think I inherit my culinary skill from him πŸ™‚ I always miss his food. The very teochew way of cooking. Different from my aunt. Though both styles taste very nice. And better than that *ahem* who thought I was poisoning people. Up till now, seriously, did she ever know what she had committed? To say the truth, regardless of how many times one could utter word of prayer, it would never change the fact the words she had uttered to me were either (i) poison (ii) blatant crap. And not forgetting all the words she uttered behind my back. Of coz, she’s not the only perpetrator. This…confirm 100% chop, it runs in the genes. Let’s hope that this gene is being watered down with combination of the other good gene (stupidly combined).

I have selective hearing. I’m very sensitive to voice and noise. But most of the time, I can filter voice and noise as white noise. For me to remember some voice and the words spoken, well, I say they are answerable to God (of whoever they believe in) for what they uttered to me. 人在做 ε€©εœ¨ηœ‹. Of course I would like to utter what’s popular in forum these days, ‘Burn in hell’. Even then, I think this is absurd. I believe that there’s something more appropriate.

Yishun is a special town that I’ve always liked. I actually feel that Hougang resembles Yishun in a way. Queenstown holds a special place in my heart as that’s my childhood place with my grandparents. I miss those days when my Ah-gong would buy wanton noodles and roti prata for me. And I would sit beside him quietly, watching him do his artwork. And uncle would be strumming his guitar……I miss those days when my Ah-ma would ask me whether I had taken my lunch. She would always tell me to eat more. I would be there trying to scare her goldfish by hitting the fish tank every now and then. I always thought, her goldfish died because of me.

My grandparents were nice people. They never exploit my parents and me. I hate those grandparents who exploit their grandchildren. Such are just being selfish. If you want to talk about love, cut the crap, because I don’t think that’s really love. Love is not selfish and does not envy. This is applicable to both romantic and family love. I think, those who love to exploit others have never experienced the wondrous of love and kinship. Just like me and my sister, we never have any fight and jealously throughout our growing up days. And up till now, we still love each other a lot! I’m very thankful, for my parents who teach us the art of loving. Especially my dad. I believe that if you grow up in a family that doesn’t exhibit much love, you’ll end up being one not knowing how to love people as well. Why? Because you grew up expecting to be loved and yet that expectation wasn’t fulfilled, and hence in the end you would demand to be loved when you get your chance in life. But unfortunately, love doesn’t work in this way. Love is about giving. Love is not about jealousy. Love knows no competition. Love simply endures.

Have you really loved someone?
(Please don’t think of romantic love, in the lowest form…)

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Crocheted outerwear from Taiwan

I realised that crocheted items made one look more heavy on years. Or perhaps, it made only me look so. LOL cracking my brain to think of ways to pair this crocheted piece properly. Though this combination looks funny, I felt it’s better than none, hahaha.

Today’s dream. :-/ okie, the dream was good, fine, just that :-/ Strange.

Anyway, once I set myself to busy stuffs I wouldn’t have energy for anything else. I cook because I love food. I bake because I like cakes and I find that’s a way to de-stress. I sew because I like fashion. πŸ™‚ I draw simply because I love to draw!

I dislike people who utter nonsense. I really think, small brained people are really bird brained. I dislike people who are lazy and have lousy attitude. I really wonder, what’s wrong with these brains! Lazy, don’t want to do much work, keeps complaining, criticising, whining…eeks! Can’t they see that they have a part to play as well? I think, it’s hereditary. Laziness runs in the family. How many hardworking chaps do you see around? How many chaps do you know who just want to earn a fortune and then laze around? Hmmm….

I would want to realise my dream. Hahaha, just realised my dear sibling and I share the same dream. πŸ™‚ So you see yeah, it runs in the family! Hahaha πŸ˜€

Who knows, when I’m better prepared, I’ll go and join politics? πŸ™‚ No, I don’t think that’s the easiest job ever. I think, that’s a very challenging job. Maybe if I stop being so bimbo, I shall start educating myself on the world of politics.

I did current affairs when I was in college. I loved it. Very much. I wished I had more debates back then. Unfortunately, the system wasn’t so encouraging of us really having debates on current affairs. Sad.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Polka and brooch

I really can’t imagine the few months I kept wearing dark coloured clothings. Depressing, totally depressing. Shrugs ;( Starting to break out of the cycle. I can’t do it. I need light.

Last week I had to dim my entire living room because the area was just too bright for me, to the extent I had a bad migraine. That was the only occasional period that I’m not into light.

Initially I was very happy, that there’s a 30% discount on my favourite Japanese brand. Tried on it, but still didn’t find myself looking good in it. I adored the material though…simply a beauty and nice to touch! However, I really couldn’t justify this purchase, so I left without getting it 😦 It was sad, the time was right, the discount was there, I had told myself earlier that if there’s such a good discount I would get her! But unfortunately, the fit was not suitable for me. It fitted me though, just that there’s certain part that didn’t look nice, but I couldn’t pinpoint which area that was. Sometimes, I go by the hunch. Regardless of how much I like the dress, how much I adore the material, I’m one who can forgo what I’ve liked initially. It’s strange, I’m much too like a robot.

I left without the item. Felt sad of course. But I rather not continue on with that purchase, else I would regret most probably.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Has anyone ever felt that?

To have a part of you dying away each day.
What am I saying? Of course we have a part of us dying away each day, that’s the ageing process according to the doctors and scientists.

I’ve waited for almost 2 years, and I survived. Has my patience been wearing away?

It’s so easy to be an ostrich. Unfortunately, that’s very not me. I like fox, husky and snow owl. Why would I ever like an ostrich?????

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Memories

Some songs bring nice memories.
I’m listening to the Korean Drama ‘Lie to Me’ songs. I love the drama very much. But it’s very draggy towards the ending. LOL.

I guess, I can still forgo certain things in life, can’t I? I just want to complete my stuffs first, my very desires in my life, before I proceed to the next phase. I know, this is strange. But I believe, that’s the very best I can do, for myself, for the other party. Whenever I thought of how I was being rushed into the whole decision-making process and pushed into forgoing my wants, I couldn’t help but really dread such memories. I am slow. But I’ll reach my goals finally. I don’t want to be pushed and I don’t want to just hurry along the way. I hate that process.

I think, this will be fairer for all parties. If I am not given my space and time, I’ll feel stifled and in the end, I’ll bear resentment towards the whole matter. I don’t need to settle down just because I’m afraid of ‘marketability’. The other person just doesn’t determine my identity.

Someone thought I was cool. Yeah, I’m a ζˆ‘θ‘Œζˆ‘η΄  person. I’ve always been like this. It’s my time. Only when I achieve my desires, then I’ll consider other stuffs. Till then, I need to focus on what I want.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Military look?

I realised I looked structured. At times I wonder, how the foreigners feel in Japan. Living in Japan can be quite frustrating at times, when one realises they go straight accordingly. But that’s also something cute about them. And something I cherish about them. To say the truth, when do we never put up a front of smile? Some critics said the Japanese are being fake. I beg to differ. Fake or not, not up to me to say. Even if they are being fake. At least they take the effort to pretend to be nice???? Societal norms have an impact on them, how they behave, what they say, so on and so forth. Regardless of the real heart, at least they are being confined to work towards a certain boundary. I don’t like the fact that there are many cultures which emphasise on freedom or whatever. People exploit it. There are many. For their own advantage. So sick…

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚