Mood in RED

I’m in the knack for having red items. Red lingerie, red bag, red top, red hair, red lipstick LOL and yah, my mood is RED as well.

I’m a BULL.

I charge. …. But then, as a human, I’m not so silly.

I can’t associate myself with people who simply can’t think. There are people who can, both young and old, and I admire them so. Regardless of their education. Sad to say, some people just can’t. And that’s regardless of their age and education.

I believe, people just like group think. I’ve never been one, and won’t ever be one. I believe in myself, God and angels. How old are we, again? I’m old enough to think for myself, why do you think you can plant thoughts onto me?

Absurd. Absurdity. I can listen to utter rubbish for a decade, my tolerance level for rubbish is actually super high. But that doesn’t mean I take in whatever you say. Just for example, I someone keeps telling me, gal you are fat and ugly, go and slim down. Well, yes, to be polite, I’ll say, oh dear, yup, I think I should right?…Thereafter, I’ll look at myself in the mirror, and I’ll see myself in all angles, and I’ll conclude, actually I still look good with quite a bit of flab, hey, my dress fits better on me!

You see, I won’t be convinced of what you say, especially so if I don’t have that kind of bond with you. Relationships in life are unique indeed. You may talk to everyone with ease, but that doesn’t mean you bond with everyone.

Sometimes, I do get rather disillusioned. Who to listen, who to believe? I’ve heard nonsense. And there used to be a friend who spoke nonsense to me as well. Out of pity and politeness, I tolerated as long as I could, thinking that some day, this fella would turn around in heart. But no.

I realised, when people did such things, they basically are insecure. And when people accepted such things and acted upon it, they aren’t that great either. For both, I have absolute no respect. Because that’s when i see the real intent. That your actions speaketh louder than words. And actions stemmed from your heart. Oh great, so much for all the great talk about yourself, your self-sacrificial acts to protect and help, your constant pushing of blame onto others. Ya, right, now I see very clearly, that when one did that, the others in question may or may not be involved, but that one who did that, is definitely the problematic one.

Ya right, everyone is bad except you.

Tsk…tsk.

I’m beginning to think, after all, these are what you said. If that makes sense, words would be in line with your actions. It doesn’t make sense when your actions don’t tally with your words.

Yes, my mood is RED.

I’ll change my wardrobe. Very soon.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Advertisements

In the casual way

I like to dress according to what I want what I like what I feel. I don’t like to be bound by rules and regulations, maybe to some, this is utter dismay, as they think I prefer rules and regulations. Well, in reality, no. I believe that we’re all and should be given the freedom. Freedom to express yourself. We all have our unique self and identity, haven’t we? Why do some people like to be in group think? Why do some people always like to establish some kind of fake relationships? Do they really understand the meaning of ‘bond’???

Utter dismay.
Utter disappointment.
Yes, I feel that THAT much.
I think, it’s a total waste of time talking to pigs. Yea, call me elitist, I don’t like to talk to people who simply cannot process thoughts, especially HOT. There’re so many things in life one can read up and do. What’s so wrong with some people? It just shows me how small their brains are. Bird brain. Yes, I am big-head. With that, I do have a bigger brain. However, had i maximise my potential, I would be in U.S studying, not holidaying…oh well…

Deeply disturbed.
Painfully pissed off.

Maybe I should eat more veggie. Might stop my curse and swear.

Just like the one who said I stayed at home and shake legs, the more I think, the more I know he has eat his words. Shaking legs at home, or anywhere, is not my cup of tea.

Don’t say so much and claim that you know me.

Just like the Scorpio, or even better, only the privileged few enter into my life…..

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Beige Jacket from Korea

I think I wear quite bright colors.
I like bright colors. I don’t like dark ones. I just don’t like all things black.

Very disappointed. People will never change, right? Spots always remain, how do we get rid of them? I don’t understand how one can be that insecure. What’s there to be insecure about?????? O_O

Even if my eyes pop out, I still won’t get an answer to this query. I really detest such kind. What’s super wrong with such a person? I don’t have a perfect life, but why am I still happy???

It’s all in the mind.

And the heart.

And the genes???

And I see too many ζ˜ε›. At this moment, I’m just much too pissed to the point of puking. Yes, puke!

I don’t find it good to distrust. Why on earth would we want to live in such a world? Life is beautiful and can be beautiful…minus these crap freaks.

This beige jacket is from Korea. I like such de-constructed kind of jacket. And my pretty shoes with ribbon from Taiwan! Heehee…simple things that made me happy πŸ™‚

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Anything unusual? Color combi as usual

Saw some of Marc Jacobs’ fashion. Drool!…..I like this funky label for clothes, apart from Burberry Porsum line. However, just like what my friend said, some clothes just aren’t suitable for certain lines. Ya, I should be in the creative line. Silly me. I’m not a very structured person. I have to adhere to this because that’s the easiest way to get things done for certain people. As stifling as I feel, I long for fresh air of fragrance.

I’m irritated when certain morons like to confuse you. I’m very well-aware. Just can’t understand why people have warp logic and try to reason with you using their warp logic. If for the younger, I’ll just laugh…coz they’re still young, their brains aren’t fully developed yet. But the older ones?……isn’t that a shame? Up till now, close to 40 or even 70 years, their brains are still in such a condition??…Beyond words for me indeed.

When in the wrong, acknowledge it, make amendments and move on. Don’t attempt to confuse me with some other things which seem to be similar but yet aren’t similar after all upon close scrutiny. I really hope these people should go and have more coffee sessions with friends in the legal line, or at least go and read more. Or perhaps, these are even too tough for their brains to process.

When you can’t convince, you confuse.

Thanks to the person who highlighted to me that when he was with me. I learnt and remember very well. Just apply it in your real life as well.

Happy like bird.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Rainbow macaroons

Was enjoying the macaroons. Nice, not too sweet, though I would prefer it to be bitter…LOL

I saw him. In a magazine. It’s him, right. No doubt about it. The last I saw him was…5 years ago???…Oops…time flies. If I had reacted according to my own emotions then, where would I be now????????? Maybe, I’m a dimwit. I chose to run away. Now, when I thought about it, I felt sad. Very sad. It’s not easy to find someone who shares similar views and likes as you…not easy…and I realise, I’m usually attracted to people who are creative, likewise them to me. I just feel sad now. (?)

If I stood up for myself back then, would I have any regret? If I gave up what I thought was my responsibility, would I have any regret? In the end, what’s my responsibility? My real responsibility?

I would never forget his voice and our conversations. I wasn’t even into K or J pop drama then, hence I knew, I wasn’t being influenced by anyone anything at all. Oh well……….would we have the courage back then? If things had stopped at Year 2005, it would be totally different. This tinge of sadness, would it linger?……

Sometimes, you just wonder, why this must happen at this time, and not earlier on? Maybe, I wasn’t in the right emotional frame either. Have I deliberated too much each time? Sometimes, I just don’t want certain things in my life because I’m not prepared for it. I don’t want to live my life satisfying others. It must be done with my willingness. This is very important. Basically, if I can’t convince myself, I’ll just end up running away. Right??? That’s what I wanted to do right from the start of the 21st Century.

Rainbow appears after the rain. I’ve seen rainbows several times. Thank you, God. And you’ve allowed me to see rainbows several times.

Now? I want to see only the clear sky.
I just want to see flowers, greens, birds flying in the sky.

Rainbow…that’s the past. I had already made my decision then. Though I was foolish enough.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Yet another dress in polka dots!

I really thought this dress is lovely! πŸ˜€

I’ve been wanting to buy such a dress for the longest time I can imagine. I’m just so in love with polka dots, chiffon, pleats and 3/4 sleeves. Yes, in love. However, I do have many loves πŸ˜€

Life is so much more enjoyable and meaningful when we love and enjoy love. By that, it’s not just about romantic love, it also encompasses sibling love, parental love, friendly love… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I’m so in LVoe πŸ™‚ Oops, not LV but LOve (^_-)

I strongly believe that one is in love, knows love, loves and be loved in return, that person is a happy person. Why not right? I can’t really think of proper reasons why people can be unhappy for the longest time they ever have in their lives. Were they being bullied when they were much younger? Were they being ostracised back then? But why? Didn’t they stand up for themselves? Didn’t they have friends who loved them?

I may be one of the fortunate few who stood up and fought. Against all odds. LOL maybe that’s why up till now, a Primary School friend who met me randomly on the street can still recognise me as his classmate! I must have been notoriously ‘LOUD’ and ‘STRONG’ then. Wahahahaha!

I bite. Yes. No doubt. When I do that, I’m being foolish. Bite is not the way. That’s the reaction with mind not properly processed. To be lethal, I sting. Yes. No doubt. Absolute.

Yea, my siblings are amazed with me. I don’t pride myself in this. It’s not something I enjoyed. But when there’s a need, that’s a need. And I would make it very clear. While studying, I told one of my teachers off when she refused to give me the grade. I told her I had absolute confidence of what I had written. When I got my results, I showed that to her and I told her, if my confidence was being shaken by her, I would not have achieved what I had believed in.

Thanks to her, I believe in my capability and gifts. I always believe, it’s a matter of whether i want or I don’t want. Perhaps I should go and excel in my seamstress skills and make the news with my creations. Sister’s classmate, a law graduate, gave up being a lawyer and proceeded with her creative skills on being a fashion designer.

I like to create. I love Lego since I was a toddler. I can’t imagine how sad life is without creation. Creation. Using the mind. Analyse, plan and build, recreate…oh well, does anyone believe in this???

This is a very interesting area I would like to explore. Perhaps I can even write a thesis on it. Okie, I’m so in love with my idea that I should not procrastinate, right??? Just because I’m a Jack of all trades, it’s hard for me to be Master of one…and hence none…

I can be quite easily distracted. Likewise, I can be very focused. Pretty strange, an oddball. But I operate based on my own imperatives. Yes, I hear all nonsense. And those are just white noise to me. The real ones are melodious to me.

I don’t think it’s hard to see and hear. What stems from your heart would be reflected upon your mouth. And by that, I don’t consider one who said ‘sorry’ each time just to get away easily. It’s easy to abuse such words. I know it, you know it. Who doesn’t? I’m really curious.

We associate ourselves with whom we share common goals and beliefs. I don’t go yum-cha with any Tom, Dick or Harry, regardless of how well you seem to portray yourself in front of me. My mind is also pretty fixed on certain things. 5000 different personalities i’ve interacted with. Is this so tough to see where one belongs to?

Okie, what about me? Which am I?

Quick, I need to ask my sista!!!!!!!!!!! πŸ˜‰ She knows me best!

Yea!

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Earth Ecology top and Bright Blue pants

I finally bought this. Hahaha. And I didn’t get it locally. I know, I just love the fashion on this top. I can be that obstinate. Absurd me LOL

Aren’t I in blues? Yep. Coz somebody pissed me off so much that I decided not to wear bright and cheery colors. Just because I love to smile and joke and be animated, this doesn’t mean that I don’t take things seriously, that I can be taken as a doormat. No way am I going to be a doormat. Yes, I love you, I give in. But not to the extent that I still continue to tolerate when I see lousy behaviour from you.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

White Crochet Knitted Long Cardigan

I guess, I only get upset with people once in a blue moon. After a night’s sleep, yep, I’m indeed much better despite finding that fella’s nonsensical illogical immature handling of matters. We weren’t compatible right from the start. The mental distance is much too far apart. And this spilled over to much of our lives.

In life, we can’t just live by airy fairy romance alone. One has to bring in the butter, put the bread on the table, and these do not come for free. Can you survive just by listening to sweet nothings? We all grow up listening to fairy tales, where Cinderella lost her glass slipper and the Prince found it and her, where Snow White woke up to the kiss of the Prince. But how many really take the read of Hans Christian Andersen seriously? Do many actually remember The Little Match Girl, that what she was facing, was a reality in this world? You see, we need fairy tales but we also need to be ready to face up to reality. It doesn’t matter what age you are at, and even if you are approaching 40, it isn’t that late if you brave yourself up and accept reality. The issue here is: Do you make the best out of your life?

Making the best out of our lives, doesn’t mean that we’ve to win at all times, getting the best at all times. Making the best out of our lives, as in spending quality time with people whom we regard as close to us, caring for people whom we like, laughing at ourselves for making mistakes here and there even for being clumsy, standing up for ourselves and others when we see that certain bad notions have to be given a tick off and placing them at the rightful place…etc.

Of coz making the best out of our lives encompasses more things than what I’ve mentioned. Just too tired today to pen more down…

I’m quite a reactive person. Looks like I need to keep track of my emotions as well lest I turn out to be one who’s emo. LOL actually, I find it hard to emote, oops, being emo. Some can really dislike me to the core, because they just don’t have what I have…a loose screw???…

I believe we are all answerable to God. Whichever God you choose, they’ve never taught you wayward things. It’s humans who interpreted in their own ways to suit their lives and hidden agendas. I’ve seen people with hidden agendas. Really feel very disheartened. Like what my sis said, we aren’t such people and usually don’t associate ourselves with such people, hence we feel disheartened and taken aback with the existence of such. I feel disheartened, because I always think that one should progress over the years and grow towards enlightenment over the years, no? Perhaps I have much too high expectations. I need to remind myself, 一种米养百种人.

How can I insist everyone to be similar??? That’s absurd. Sigh.

I……just wonder, why would people tolerate lousy behaviour of others? I guess, it’s a mutual reliance most prob. A is afraid of being left alone, B wants something from A, so A gives what B wants in return for B’s presence. Hmmm……isn’t this an instance of business transaction???? How sad it is that relationships in this world have to be degraded to such an instance.

Maybe I don’t like the concept of business transactions meddling in relationships, hence I tend to be very frank and forward in what I say. Yes, I step onto people’s toes by doing that. I rather I step, than faking my thoughts and emotions.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚

Lilac knitted top from Taiwan and skirt from Korea

Like the knitted top not just because of its color, but also because of its unique design, Peter Pan collar in front and pearls buttons behind.

Felt very down today. I should learn how to put things aside and not let emotions get the better of me. I learnt from the past, that once I got so hurt to the extent of being sick of it and numb, I became indifferent. Say whatever you want, think whatever you want. Your mind is so fixed about me, so be it. I don’t grow up in a world where I’m forever trying to please people. I’m happy being a good sister, good daughter…i don’t need everyone’s approval. If I had wanted that, I would have already gotten that. It’s just a matter of whether I want or don’t want. The issue here is: I don’t want, so why should people force it down my throat and expect me to be a pleaser?

At the end of the day, I know I love my loved ones deeply. Even my mum can see that. She knows very well in her heart how I care so much for each of them.

My life with dreams, love and family πŸ™‚