Simple coordinates

Ya, simple is nice. Why are people so complicated? Are they happy? Happy people don’t go around spreading unhappiness. They won’t even do things that make others unhappy or uncomfortable. Maybe my expectations are too high. Hard to attain? Perhaps. Impossible?…maybe.

The weather has turned cooler. I miss Hokkaido. Maybe it’s only when I feel cold then I’ll think of Hokkaido more…sigh!

O_P

Why do I see some people walking in circles? They can cycle at the same place, stroll along the same place…more than once? I know if I do that, I’m in an autopilot mode. I don’t like to be in that mode. That mode is devoid of feelings and thoughts.

Thanks for listening to me, my dear friend. Thanks for giving me the comfort of releasing my bottled thoughts and anxiety. Thanks for just being here…

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In love with lace and frills

I’m turning a bimbo these days. Clothes, skincare and make-up. But I’m not into make-up. I don’t like to pile on cosmetics products on my skin. Skincare is fine, as it helps to enhance and maintain…

I think, simple is nice. Just being simple. I’ve been watching a K- drama lately. This is very unusual, because I for one, do not have the patience to sit through numerous episodes of drama. I have ADHD, my mind will wonder, my body will ache, I just can’t concentrate. Well, I’m into my last disc for this drama, and hopefully just a few episodes more…

I wonder, really wonder, do I look like my age? I usually have people asking me whether I am local and they usually think that I’m a Japanese. So I’m used to being a non-local in my local country. But, I’m curious, what about my age??? Do I look like my age???

This matters to me. Though I’m still in a dilemma with thoughts of whether I ought to look like my age or not. I would be happy to learn that I look much younger…but I certainly don’t know whether this is a good sign, as I don’t really welcome people hitting on me wrongly… 😦

I can never get back my lost times.

Just a couple of years ago, someone took my breath away. It was an awfully nice sensation. But that sensation was not perfect, as it was with guilt. I hate the guilt part. I never like to do anything that I feel obliged to. And I never like to do things against my conscience. I can say, while I’m cool, I’m just like the wind…I’m happy to be without guilt in feeling. My friend pointed out something that made sense…

I have a couple of things to settle in these coming months. Looking at my schedule, I think I crave for me-time. I’m strange, I don’t think there’s anyone else in this world who needs this much of me- time…perhaps I just like to listen to my inner voice…I don’t want to be caught up with the noises of the world, with the distractions of the world…I don’t want. So what if you have this and that, so what if you attain this and that, so what? To me, what matters most is I’m true to my heart…and simple is nice.

Silk printed dress with a Spring Look

πŸ˜€ I love Green. I love Yellow. Little wonder why I wear this combi πŸ™‚

I’m predictable. So predictable that I become frustratingly bored and change my style. When the occasion calls for it, I’m pretty firm about my decision. I miss walking in the snow. I miss stepping in the snow. I miss Hokkaido. Terribly. Especially when the weather turns cold here, I’ll think of Hokkaido and her lovely people…I miss…very very very very much!

Sometimes, the heart misses so much that she’s crying. Maybe that’s why the sky is crying too?…I wonder, have I been using my logical mind again? This is such a bad habit. I must stop this and get rid of this habit. How can I be a logical thinker???

Can I just tread carefully? I don’t want to land on mines. Pretty mind boggling as I wonder. Diversities. Maybe that’s the pull factor.

I thank God for my friends once more. They are the ones who keep me sane. Last year was fun. This year…plenty of new events and challenges…will my heart be able to take it? I’m already quite out of breathe now 😦 How? It’s soon December…winter…

Let things settle on their own…

????

In colors: Blue, Black and Pink

Somehow, I don’t think I look nice in this 😦 Sigh, this is a season when I don’t see myself looking nice in any outfit?…hmmm…

Trying not to think too much. Sometimes, worrying or finding things to be concerned about don’t help much. I’m simply tired of such drain of thoughts. Can’t I just R&R???…I should be looking forward to December, shouldn’t I?

It’s easy to say certain things and don’t mean it. Can I do that? The problem is I always mean what I say, whereas people just don’t think I mean what I say. What’s wrong with the communication here? Excuse me.

I think there’s just a thin line between how we feel and how we make others feel. I don’t understand how some people just don’t care how they ever make others feel. Well, maybe I’ve never been into the kind of world they live in. But have they ever been to our world??

In colors: White, Blue, Grey and Green

Oh DEAR! 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 Oh GoSH! Oh my Goodness!

I feel totally small now 😦 I am really so GOOOOOOON! Really can’t imagine that I’m indeed such a blur and silly person. Oh great, oh well, oh dear!

I’m better being a clown, just laugh it off, can I? I’m better being a comedian, less stress, just simply joke around and make people laugh, can I? I’m better not knowing so much, the less I’m aware, the sillier I can be, can’t I???

Why can’t I build my sandcastles? Why can’t I paint my dreams? Why can’t I make my crafts?

Can I? Can I??

Am I the strange one here in this world? Maybe that’s the reason I can resonate with ‘The Others’. Oh dear!

I really need to bang my head against the wall πŸ˜• This is so totally uncalled for. Is this an awakening to some aspects? For what??? I’m fine all these while. Chill….I’m scared, and freaked out. This is over. I must flush the system out……

I would love to skip. But when the heart is too conscious, it’s hard to get things done.

I would love to dance. But when the mind thinks too much, it’s hard to follow the steps.

I would love to fly. That’s an exhilarating feeling I believe. As I’ve always liked my flying dreams…

Now I just need to find my friend…this is such a terrible feeling : ( 😦 😦 I’ve never really have that in my life! And seriously, I don’t know what else to say 😦 😦 😦 This is bad. Real bad. Oh dear!

Maybe time will just change everything and ease this out…oh great!….

But now, this is making me wanna bang my head like the Manga character! Oh yeah, so kawaii? Oh gosh!

Sailor Printed Top fr FEP

Kinda like this sailor printed top. Likes its details, the fine lace, the anchor, lol, I like navy themed tops.

Well, how silly I could have been! I guess, I should be better in cooking, sewing, drawing, music than anything else. What else can I be good at? I’m just a blur goondu most times, why am I so bothered by that?

I look at the sky. The clouds have shifted. What about me? I’m still standing at the same spot. Why can’t I move? Why didn’t I move? I feel so silly in a game of chess. I prefer to play balls, just pass and throw, aim and throw, aim to pass…sigh! I’m just so tired of these all. Perhaps it would be better if I just shake it off. I’m tired and bumped. I want to sleep.

Well, forget it so. That’s bizarre.

In the Navy colors

Live with colors. Color your life!

It’s always good to hear from different people. I always like to listen more than I talk. Perhaps that’s why I recall voices very clearly. Haha, I’m always attracted by a nice voice. Not too deep, not that squeaky. Forceful but not pushy. Determined. A pity that people evolve, hence changing voices over the years. Well, that’s life.

What’s my view? I see what’s in front of me. I’m too focused that I forgot to smell the roses. Hahaha.

Something must be wrong with me. Me-time is super important to me. I just can’t get enough of it. And when I don’t have enough, I’m just so grumpy. I want to hear my own voice. But how in this busy and noisy world? Perhaps I just try to push away all distracting voices. I don’t like distractions. I like to concentrate and be in focus. Hahaha.

I really don’t know how to fit into my schedule. Too packed for me : ( and it will disrupt my other plans. Sigh! Argh! If only I have 48hours! Lol.

What’s this? Why do I keep on seeing this? Please put that away. I don’t want to be reminded. Amazing that would return to haunt me in my dreams. Not pleasant but neither is that a nightmare either. Just that it points out very clearly a feeling I never have…until Y-San who sets my heart free. That intellectual…with wisdom and poetic sense…how would I not fall??? Hahaha……esp when seasons come in different colors, and he speaketh sense…i’ve never been in awe except during those moments.

I don’t need people to impress me. I’ve known one who is a writer…yes, he’s impressive and talented, but…just that’s too overwhelming for me. I’ve to constantly watch my speech as words mean a lot. Yes, a hell lot πŸ˜€ Do I like airheads? Lol maybe that’s easier, don’t need to think so much, close both eyes and hey presto! Things work out for themselves?…Hmmm…Better think twice right? I might end up in monologue.

Pretty amazed at how God arrange for people to ‘drop’ into my life. Very amazed. Appearing out of the blue. Lol. As long as they aren’t cons, I’m pretty open to new ideas. Afterall, life is like a box of chocolates πŸ™‚ Though it’s still not snowing in Spore, I can still see snow as and when I want, right?….

No point restraining yourself. Being stifled should never happen once again. I can’t thrive being stifled. I mean, who can? Perhaps some might, I can’t imagine that.

Okie, think nothing, go Nirvana πŸ˜€

Off-white top from FEP and Blue skirt from Fontaine

It’s so difficult to find a nice white top. In the end, I realised, off-white should be nicer and better for me, despite me being a cool color person. I quite like this top, perhaps I should make more trips to FEP to get more πŸ˜€

I like the skirt as the length is just nice for me. However, it’s quite hard to pair it off with another top. Sigh, headache.

I’m so sick to eat the medication. I actually evolved to a stage which I fear taking medication. Oh no :/

Will it rain heavily tomorrow? My pain is back like nobody’s business. Maybe I could be a weather forecaster instead lol. Terribly painful now that I feel it so. I’m getting older, can’t party and have fun. I prefer simple life, but yet also like excitment and challenges. How ironic.

I think, when I’m decided and really done with that, nothing can really change my mind. It’s tiring. I’m tired. I just want to cook nice dishes to eat. I have to focus, I want to eat. I love to cook the dishes I love to eat. Okie, food really does wonders. It definitely perks me up very well! However, these few days I can’t take much, and hence with lesser intake of food, I feel so upset….. 😦

Why did I ever let food control my heart??? Tsk…tsk… Ya, who can resist good food? I tend to visualize my food…so as to cook them in the way I love…just as in art. I visualize. Before I draw or create my piece, I visualize it right before my eyes. And then I start……

I love to visualize. Because it helps me see my goals or targets very clearly. And knowing myself, I do travel towards them. I don’t care how people might laugh or lament at my slowness. How many years did Michaelangelo take to complete his paintings? It’s not just one year, duh! Some things, you just can’t rush through them. And for me, I can’t rush, if I do, the piece will be without my heart…it’s only a cold process.

Haiz.

It’s gonna snow soon in Hokkaido……

The same moon The same sky The stars shining brightly out there That darkness That chilly wind That powdery snow The steps…… Leaving imprints on my heart

γ‚γ‚ŠγŒγ¨γΎγ—γŸ

Oh dear, I need to brush up my Japanese. I’ve been listening to too much of K-songs these days. Really distraction. I ought to have put the Ks away earlier. Why must I be distracted? Stay in focus, please!

A $20 dress!

I bought this dress at $20! Hahaha…but because it’s sold at a special price, I can’t try for fitting. Anyway, I held it up, did some imaginary measurements, yup, should be fine.

While out today, a sales assistant told me before I started conversing to her in Mandarin, she thought I was a Japanese and she’s fumbling for dialogues in Japanese to greet me. Lol…so funny and interesting of her. No wonder, some sales promoters also don’t dare to talk to me, either they think I too fierce or I won’t speak their language anyway.

Am I fierce? Do I sound fierce? Why do I encounter people who are scared of me?……

Perhaps I don’t have much patience for people who are wishy-washy. What’s so difficult in making a choice? Making a decision? I guess, I’m just too straightforward in my mindset. Have I learnt? Hmmm….I think, that’s me forever lol.

Ronan Keating’s song, ‘When you say nothing at all’….when was this a hit? Oh gosh…memories are failing me, Notting Hill is ages ago 😦 : ( 😦

Suddenly, I don’t want to go to HK… Sigh! Only Hokkaido or Kyoto is the best for me……I feel so sad now! I miss the snow, snow, snow!!!!!! I miss the onsen, the snow capes, the people!!!!!! I’m missing Japan so much once again. Oh dear, what can I do?!