Hard to match

I like this top. But I find it hard to match with other bottoms. : ( Such a headache.

Perhaps in life, it’s the same as well? I like you, you like me, but we are hard to match?…

I don’t want to conform. Especially if I don’t feel comfortable with it. But sometimes, where feelings are concerned, I find it tough to separate the whole issue. I feel scared as well, haven’t I learn enough?…

If I don’t want commitment, I suppose that would work. If I have to commit, that would be tough, for me and the other party as well. But I wonder, do we have similar thoughts and views? My previous relationship has been an eye-opener for me. And I seriously know, it’s very very important to really really like and love the one I’ve chosen. And I’m looking out for that factor to be in place. I must have that enough or surplus of 心动.

Just let it be. I should just procastinate. I still need my me-time. Lots of me-time at least for the coming month I need?…

I like people with passion. Passion and drive for the things they are doing. And please be gentle with me…I’m very blur as well…I need guidance.

Peach Blue Grey

I love these three colors combo 🙂 I guess, I simply love colors. Life will indeed be duller without colors.

I remembered, eons ago, there was this guy in uni who ran all the way from one hall to another hall to look me up and asked me whether I wanted supper. When I said no there’s no need for supper, he insisted I get some. Well I ended up saying okay and he ran all the way back to his hall to buy the supper for me. (Back in those days, only his hall happened to have late night supper treats.) I continued with my assignment as I had to submit mine within the next few days and was rather stressed. I actually thought that most prob he would just doze in his room and forget all about the supper. Imagine his jogs back and forth 😀 I wouldn’t have such stamina in the late night. Almost 45 mins later, he returned with my supper and his friend. And his friend started teasing him about buying supper in the middle of the night. I was dumb, perhaps, my mind was solely on completing my assignment, I had no energy to think of whatsoever, tho I did like him then.

Suddenly… I thought that ‘insistence’ was so familiar. Now I realise, yeah, could be the same. This sets me thinking. But I don’t want to dwell further. I like people who take charge, who doesn’t depend on me to decide. I don’t know. And I don’t want to think too far. I still have my 5-yr plan remember? The feeling is nice, but then, so what?…

Sigh…that guy in Arashi resembles ZS so much! This week, I happened to bump onto a number of people whom I’ve known in the past. Strange right?…

I think I’m having a headache now. Better to leave things alone…hmmm.

White-turned-pink skirt

It was hilarious when I realised one fine day that a certain pink dress of mine had shared her lovely pink to the other clothings along with her in the washer. Funny. And the incredible thing was most of the clothes that had the tinge of pink were my whites! 😀 Indeed, I didn’t know whether I should be laughing out or crying out loud. The pink skirt didn’t reflect much of its pink in this photo. Maybe it still wanna retain its whiteness?…

Yes, if I could, I would prefer to be in the suburban snowy places close to the nature mountains and rivers and lodges…I’m a strange person, I like cold places. Though I hardly sweat, summer isn’t a season I like much. Anyway, I’m just not born to be a summer gal.

Sometimes things happen to serve as a form of distraction, perhaps to divert my attention from my goals. I wouldn’t say that this is an easy route. For I’m human afterall. But if that’s not what I want, why do I need to give in to my feelings? I don’t like this part of me. From rational to irrational and back again…bounce! It’s funny, and I’m sure that my friend is amused as well.

Towards end of the year, my energy level seems to run much lower. As usual? It’s hard to stir any sentiments from me earlier on. Perhaps I was too busy and had plenty of errands to run then. But even now, I need me-time and I treasure my me-time. I don’t want to be stifled and obliged.

In short, I just want to space out……LOL

Striped cardi and Black dress combi

A boring combi. Somehow, when I say ‘combi’, I think of ‘conbini’. Sigh…I feel very sad 😦 😦 😦

I didn’t realise that time just flew like this. Autumn is always special in my heart. Just like Winter…though they are different…well, I’m still looking forward to Spring. Who can say for sure?

… I also don’t know … I’m kinda distracted. But I ought to set my focus right. K-pop and J- drama. Fun for the former, while my basics for the latter. I can’t do away with something I’ve loved so much since young…it’s not the drama per se. It’s more than that 😦 K-pop is fun and a novelty. But as far as that gets to be, it’s more of a romance, not my idea of reality and my love.

My question, is settling down important? Or to be more precise, what’s a marriage cert? I have never been interested in it, and now, all the more so. The cert is just a useless piece of paper used to bind people down so that they could have a place to stay. Do I need that? I don’t. So now, why would I be interested in anything related to marriage or even the thought of settling?

Life is as good as you make it out to be. Just like a piece of cloth. You can cut that to different shapes and sizes. Be it what shapes you have given it, as long as you make the best out of what you have, that would be a nice piece of clothing.

The Koreans have various colors of clothings for their fashion. They reminded me of the Japanese magazines i read when I was in mid- primary. Now it seemed that the Koreans have made it better in terms of the coordinates. However, I love the subtlety of the Japanese style. Perhaps to me, it’s them being funky, yet stylish at the same time that attracted me. Well, if that’s your style, that’s yours. Everyone is unique.

Okie, back to my K-pop and J-drama dreams 🙂

Simple combo for Lion King

This was what I wore for the musical. Simple and nothing much. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

That might just serve as a distraction. What am I looking out for? Intelligent conversation…

I can just sleep on and be complacent and lose the track of time and importance. I just feel very tired. And I’m one who can really just leave things as they are, if I want…

Different goals in life… Different interests Different values Different habits Different personalities Different characters Different styles …….. Do I really need a clone? Do I want someone to stick to me? Do I want someone to keep breathing down my neck? Do I?…

I still don’t think I can withstand. Most likely I’ll end up stifled and want to have my personal space again.

Mooncakes Galore!

A platter of mooncakes. And additional flavours of mango and orange this year. (not in pic) I’m a glutton this year. I think, I’m just too happy having my freedom this year. Imagine, to make your own choice of food and furniture, the tremendous amount of joy and happiness one can have?…a friend of mine share similar sentiments. Both of us like freedom, though he still prefers to be tied in a certain way. Me?…I haven’t crossed any line yet, as I’m undecided whether I’m willing and ready to. To? Give up freedom.

Sounds negative right? What does this mean???

I love the mooncakes. With double yolks, with white lotus paste, with matcha flavour, pandan flavour…oops 🙂 I’m a glutton. No wonder I ballooned 😀 Now my clothes fit me so much better. Or maybe it’s due to the fact I use my dryer? Hahaha…

There are so many meetups that I must do. I’m procrastinating, because I want to have my me-time. I’m a strange ball. That’s why I still don’t think I can get used to sharing my personal space with someone else. It’s very difficult. Extremely. My dear friends and I are quite similar in this way 😀 It’s a breeze to know people who are just like you…don’t need to say so much, they just understand! 😀

Friendships are gifts from God. I thank God for my friends. And seeing my friends happy and moving forward to their goals in life makes me happy too! Happy people meet happy people. I don’t like negative ones. They just basically have something bad to say about everyone. Oh my goodness 😦 I really feel very perturbed about it. This brought me bad memories of TP and STy again 😦 Ok, not abt TP, but STy was real horrid. She was even jealous of me when TP didn’t even have anything for her! Crap…complicated world 😦 I never understood this whole thing. I simply couldn’t take it then. Too overwhelming for me. Why can’t people just be more simple? Why must everything be viewed as a competition? Is winning always a must? Is losing always deemed as bad?…in the end, you win some you lose some. Isn’t this life???…sigh.

I don’t know. I don’t understand how this world really works. Beyond words.

I rather retreat to my me-time me-world…no complicated thought. Just Yes or No, Right or Wrong, Good or Bad…easier right? No grey area. Like the guy who can see angel! How tortured he must have felt each time…or well, he already is numbed to all these?

I’m just being silly lah…I’m still in my own retro world, listen to the retro hits, remember only the retro artists and drama…I just don’t and can’t remember the current and latest pops…well, well, I’m different, I’m not vying for general knowledge on such stuffs…

I’m better on one sunny island. And that gotta be real small! 😀

My loves: Yellow, Green and Floral!

Yellow, Green and Floral

Aren’t these three the colors and scene of nature?…I love to see flowers in full bloom. And I love Hokkaido that THAT much!….

我可以一直听着重复的曲子。或许在听的当儿,我希望能从中有些领悟。我是否在 关闭自己?还是现在我已经能敞开胸怀开始我人生的另一段旅程呢?

我也有所顾虑。我不喜欢兼顾太多事情。太耗费我的精神了。我脑子只有书、读 书、升学、离开。我不要开始一段没有结果的旅程。我知道我是个好玩的家伙。但 是若因不精心而伤害任何人,我会开心吗?… 现在我不就逍遥自在,无须受任何 人约束,我习惯这样的生活方式。我无法配合其他人。

I should be waiting for ……the nature of blooming flowers and vast green. It’s hard…but I can do it, can’t I? Life is more than just giving up at the instance of fleeting thoughts and emotions. Isn’t this so?

Sometimes I feel like crying. With the emotions gushing out from nowhere…I know I feel more than what I can verbalize. Just that I have the habit of keeping them intact. I’m strange. I would like to see myself as strange. I don’t want to be common. I don’t need fame. I don’t mind being strange…?…

Maybe I should watch more Korean dramas, just like my dear friends…but I find it hard…I still prefer J…… 😦 That’s me, very strange.

My loves: Yellow, Green and Floral!

Yellow, Green and Floral

Aren’t these three the colors and scene of nature?…I love to see flowers in full bloom. And I love Hokkaido that THAT much!….

我可以一直听着重复的曲子。或许在听的当儿,我希望能从中有些领悟。我是否在 关闭自己?还是现在我已经能敞开胸怀开始我人生的另一段旅程呢?

我也有所顾虑。我不喜欢兼顾太多事情。太耗费我的精神了。我脑子只有书、读 书、升学、离开。我不要开始一段没有结果的旅程。我知道我是个好玩的家伙。但 是若因不精心而伤害任何人,我会开心吗?… 现在我不就逍遥自在,无须受任何 人约束,我习惯这样的生活方式。我无法配合其他人。

I should be waiting for ……the nature of blooming flowers and vast green. It’s hard…but I can do it, can’t I? Life is more than just giving up at the instance of fleeting thoughts and emotions. Isn’t this so?

Sometimes I feel like crying. With the emotions gushing out from nowhere…I know I feel more than what I can verbalize. Just that I have the habit of keeping them intact. I’m strange. I would like to see myself as strange. I don’t want to be common. I don’t need fame. I don’t mind being strange…?…

Maybe I should watch more Korean dramas, just like my dear friends…but I find it hard…I still prefer J…… 😦 That’s me, very strange.

Pink dress from Suzuya

Looks like Suzuya’s dresses are more suitable for me these days. Somebody used to say that’s obasan look. Never mind what looks, as long as I’m comfortable with the clothes, I really can’t be that bothered enough. I’m still as usual, the ‘can’t be bothered’ attitude. Why? Coz I have a mind of my own. Be it fashion…even if I wear them oddly, that’s still my fashion, right? Why on earth would I want to be some copycat icon? … I was never, and will never. Hard rock here, it’s super hard for me to change my mindset and opinion. If I’m not convinced. It’ll really take forever 😀

I really can’t believe it…this is the fourth time…I was told…I knew that I wilfully refused to hear what’s been told to me 2 years ago. I didn’t expect that 2 years later, it’s still as similar as ever. Hopefully, that’s referring to what I have placed in my heart earlier on.

I see the raindrops today… How I wish I can turn them into snow… I hear the sound of the waves gushing onto shore… Aren’t we at different shores at this moment in time?… If I can be the leaf, I shall drift to your side and drop at your feet… Waiting for you to lift me up… Waiting for the wind at the right moment in time…

It’s hard to pen everything down in words. More than words can say?…