Light summer dress in Baby Blue

I love this summer dress. Plain simple and easy to wear. I like the animal prints on it too.

Some people are just idiots, aren't they? I can't stand their manipulative behaviour. These days, i can detect even the slightest of such behaviour. I definitely trust God's gift to me. It's 100% accurate. I'm gonna rely on Him and respond accordingly. I'm not going to give anyone a chance to dispute God's truths. I won't be nasty. But i would reply w an indication that what you keep on harping or blowing out loud won't outdo or undermine my natural abilities. There's a reason why people don't trust you in your responsibilities. And it's super obvious. I dislike it when the same person keeps asking you the same question within a year. And this is without any well-meaning. I know how to differentiate between well-wishes and plain coffeeshop gossip materials. The more you try to pry because you are nosey, the more i am gonna come up with fanciful tales to irritate you. It's my life and be it what i do, there's no need for me to shout out loud about myself. Neither is there any need for me to put others down. Given the fact that i do own several pieces of branded items, do i go around and ask people, 'Hey, when r u gonna own one too? Why aren't u buying one now?' Or if i notice that someone hasn't been taking a particular bag, do i ask others, 'Hey, i've hardly seen him/her with the bag…is there anything wrong w the bag?' Well, well, if you and i really have the bond, i would let you into my life on my own accord. For some, i need more time because i find it weird brooch a subject out of the blue. For others, i wouldn't even bother to let you have news material for your coffeeshop break. I find it irritating. When people try to pry on your private with petty actions.

I for one, do not shout to the world, be it if i own branded items that cost thousands, or i'm opting for prestigious upgrading of the mind. Comeon, i have friends who read those subjects. We know who are the fluffs and who are the nerds. Perhaps deep down, an insecure person will always find ways to shout out loud. Well, harping on such stuffs only irritates me further and spurs me to really study credible high-flying stuff.

By the way, giftedness can never be caught or taught. I passed the selection phase when i was younger, only to be put on silly hold by a lady who's very insecure as well as ill-informed. Am i being clear enough?

I don't wish to speak clearly. My mind can formulate much further than what you can see with yours, it's scary even to me.

For goodness sake, stop asking me the same question. Unless you have dementia. Err…well, if you tell me that, i think you really passed the art of show and tell.

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Marvellous Cream

I enjoy the desserts sold in Marvellous Cream. Tho i would miss the stuff in Japan more. I didn't have a sweet one for the past decade. Now that the decade is over and new events are happening, my taste has returned once more. Perhaps it's good friends who constantly send me reminders, well-wishers sending their hearts and thoughts…i deeply appreciate. Hence i also recognise, that i must really plan. And give my priorities a real deep thought and plan. In the past before this year, it's never about me. I've hardly given myself, the thought of doing exactly what i love and want.

I want to be closer to my love.

Maybe that's my roots. Maybe it's just my wants. Be it whatever, i just want to love myself and in so doing, love people even more. I'm so excited, coz i finally get to do the stuffs i so desired…of coz there're many things else…

Perhaps when i'm finally done with what i like, it's the moment for me to decide whether i am willing to be back in chains again…but the funny notion here, is i don't have such a strong urge. Tho i know what i want and don't want. Right now, i think i have to be real frank in telling people what i don't want. Don't want and don't like means NO. Nothing will change. My mind is made up. I only see hearts and for this, i know that all along, what God bless me to see is the truth. It's only a matter of me closing two eyes. Which i can, when i don't love. Don't love the party and don't love myself.

Very true. I won't. Because the decision is mine, with God's provision.

Hallelujah. Praise the Lord!

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Okonomiyaki

I simply can't resist this: okonomiyaki. Be it potato chips or just the dish itself…i love it with lots of mayonnaise! Oohh… (^_^) yummy!

Felt rather regretful…i should have done it…be there on my own. Isn't that what i want? Ok, that's gonna be my target. Maybe people don't feel comfortable with this, well well well…i like what i'm and will be having actually…is it scary? Especially for those who don't know me because they've never known me using their hearts.

Each time, i just feel it so strongly…i have to reclude to just listening to the songs…perhaps i'm escaping…but before i finally get settled…i better see for myself, that my mindset is ready…and it doesn't make sense that things get too complicated. I can't handle, or rather, i choose not to. Really no wish to? Hmmm…time after time…

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空の真珠のように、あなたの私の記憶が宝物です

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Lime top from Uniqlo

I love the stuffs in Muji and Uniqlo. But i prefer them in Japan, not here. So many wants again…i'm wandering…and wondering…i mustn't forget what i want to achieve. I tend to get distracted rather easily…alright, focus, focus, focus! God, please remind me!

Sometimes i feel like giving up and giving in to how i feel at a particular moment. Maybe i really want to run away…? I am not a very logical person actually lol…when i was young, i wanna live in a circus and stay in caravans. Haha…i shall do this one fine day…in summer…(^_^)

So many wants…but do i need? Hmm…i can do away with many things but not dreams. I have my dreams and i know God's guiding me. I just want things to be simple, no frills, just being happy and jappy heeheehee…ok, so be focused f(^_^;

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Upper class……?

The buildings these days are so strange. As you go higher, the prices increase. If you can't afford, you'll be better off in the basement areas…are they trying to contain the majority on the base, so that it won't topple? I'm so amused with.this nonsensical thought.

If you have a fair bit of money, does it allow you to speak louder and order people around?

I've seen so many bad behaviours going around. In most countries i went to, except Japan. But then, in Japan, people may be bound by their cultural polite gestures that they fail to articulate themselves in reality. That doesn't mean that they are rich in manners. I wonder, what gives people the right to think they are Lord over others? Be it money or what…these people don't respect humans at all. They don't respect even themselves. Sad. What to do? Just see this world rotting away…

It's just a pressure cooker. What are we really chasing for? We're just like the ants, scurrying to places frantically…but do we grasp the meaning of life? I see most around in states of unhappiness and displeasure…and these states are channelled to people around them…i feel very sad. Why can't we just coexist peacefully? Why must we forever try to outdo each other? And worse…being devious and all? I have total no understanding of such mindsets at all. What's so wrong?

Yes, what i need is an island…and there's no need for me to be back…because i'll be happily living on the island…away from the crappy world. It's a wildgoose chase. In the end, what are we really chasing after???

Love is so cheap these days. I am free and so are you. Let's come together and fizzle…so amusing, right? It's just a mindless activity. At least to me, coz i don't want any commitment. I won't commit because i am selfish. I have no wish to give up my freedom. I don't like to account to people. I don't like to be nagged at. I don't like to be forced or coerced to do things i don't like. I'm like a horse, i'm wild and not afraid of journeys ahead. I don't enjoy being controlled by others. At least not for now…coz i just got out from prison.

Take it or leave it, that's me, i don't care. Just don't bother me with mindless activities in life. I like and is looking so much forward to the lifestyle i'll be having real soon! If only life can be fast forwarded… (^_^) i'll be so glad…it's the second time i experience such joy in me…and both occasions only relate to one term: freedom.

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空の真珠のように、あなたの私の記憶が宝物です

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Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

When i fell down the stairs, i thought i was Ironman, that i was alright and fine, my arm would be back to norm in a few hours' time.

When i reached the hospital, i thought i was Ironman, that despite the huge ugly bandage akin to fat dumplinh, i could still manage to go back home in proper.

When i stayed at home, i thought i was Ironman, that with such huge bandage, i could still go ahead with my daily chores.

When i made returning trips to the hospital for x-rays and more casts, i thought i was Ironman, that maybe soon enough i can be out and bouncing.

Well, my dear friend who has seen me through my worst moments years ago knows that i am not one who just lament and complain and arrow people when bad things happened.

Another dear friend knows that i would recover in due time, but must take care in the meantime.

Another few close friends know that i am one who won't ask for help if i can…and when i do seek for help, they are always there…

I thank God for placing friends in my life. Good people with good hearts. I greatly appreciate them. They are the ones who do not befriend me because i'm of use to them. I am of no usage to them. I am what you see, plain ugly simple.

I thank God for placing bad hats in my life. Without them, i would never understand what's real goodness and friendships in life. I've made a whole lot of better relationships over this year and the joy in my heart is unspeakable.

For that and all the freedom i've regained, i must indeed be thankful and cherish these moments. I have no wish to relinquish these.

Naggy people need not apply.
Manipulative people out of my life.
Selfish idiots are no friend of mine.

I won't hesitate to expose the inner thoughts of such…and especially so when i care so much for my loved ones and friends.

I am an icy queen, but people with real good hearts have melted me…and hence i'm now in liquid state (^_^)

Not too far away, i'll soon get to see the sky in my life. And i hope to be the star that complements……

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Super ancient stuff from the brand Colleen

As a young child, my family frequented Yaohan. I remembered Plaza Singapura as our favourite haunt, the snacks near the mart and the food court above. Yamaha was there too…

I remembered my aunt passing the pile of books…and among them, several japanese books and language texts. As a young child back then, i was constantly surrounded with the traditional ornaments from the Land of the Rising Sun. Perhaps…since then, the country has never left my heart…

It's like a magnetic pull. I keep finding ways and excuses. For myself, or for what??? But yet at the same time, i like being on my own, i don't like people to nag at me, i don't like to account to people about myself and my whereabouts. I just like to be me. The me now…though still not completely so because of some factors. Sigh. I'm a wilful person and i enjoy having this freedom. I get upset when i'm tied. I dislike being tied. The more one wants to control me, the further i'm…my heart runs away. This is a definite. It's not charming to me, even if you seem concerned, but naggy. I just don't enjoy being nagged at. Just let me do what i want. I'm like a horse, i run away, to the wilderness…

This box of color pencils brought me special moments as i packed and dumped my stuff. It has been with me for about 25 years…and i have not really used it. It survived all my shiftings…unfortunately this time round, i had to let go. I just had to do away with it…and there it went, into the bin…as trash.

What was my feeling then, as i threw it away? Maybe a tinge of reluctance and sadness…but apart from that, it's fine. I had never used it all thru those 25 years. And as the pencils aged, the leads wouldn't work well. No emotions attached. Isn't that what people do to others, when you've reached the end of your usefulness? Wow, i've evolved to become 'people' now! Do i have emotions? Yes i do. But i can turn it off and on. It's not a big part of me, since i see plenty of fake people around…but it's getting to overwhelm me soon…because i get to see and meet the real ones…

If all i can remember are the naggings and sounds…i don't think i want to give up my freedom. Let me have my freedom, and you'll see the truth…

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Ferris Wheel

If you want to decide, go ahead.
If you want to dominate, go ahead.
If you want to lament, go ahead.
If you want to complain, go ahead.
If you want to criticise, go ahead.
If you want to sneer, go ahead.
If you want to cheat, go ahead.
If you want to lie, go ahead.
If you want to pretend, go ahead.
If you want to nitpick, go ahead.

At the end of the day, it's not about me.
At the end of the day, it's not me.
At the end of the day, i'm glad that i'm me and myself.

I don't go around chasing mindless dreams. What dreams are we talking about? Well, if it's all about rags and riches, i feel sad for you. Because you've never been a real person to your loved ones and friends. If it's all about status and power, i feel sad for you. Because there's this part of you which will ache no matter what.

Real people do not love you and be on good terms with you because you are of use to them.
Real people do not put you away once you've reached your amount of use.
Real people reach you with their hearts, and together, our lives are heartened with warmth and care.

We see this world in a mirror of our own. My mirror is different from yours because i am real and i'm of no use to anyone. There's nothing you can use me for. I am not rich, no fantastic ambition, no network, no skills, i don't bitch and criticise…maybe coz of that, i don't view people in the lens of useable-ness either. In short, i don't use people. And i make it a choice, not to use people. It's easy to just fall into the devil's hands…pretend, act and live. Fake it till you make it, that's what the new age gurus said. Yaya, again, it's your life, not mine.

I know what i need to do. It's my life, not yours.

At the end…we're just sitting on the ferris wheel, same cabin but view of our own…

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Love at first sight

It was love at first sight for me. The first time i saw it on an overseas forum…someone purchased it and i loved it. I'm so delighted to receive this item. It will definitely hold a place in my heart and in my dwelling nest (^_^)

I realise…that there're some memories that i can do behind. I saw a good concept today in our hotel room. Customised lounge seats with storage beneath, i can use it as a sofa, a place to entertain my guests with a built in coffee table. This definitely frees up space 🙂 i hate things obstructing the way. I like to see vast space. My eyes feel so much better in that way.

Loving this rabbit in kimono. It's just so me! Oh…! f(^_^;

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